Produced by Kirk Pearson, with help from the volunteers at the Distributed Proofreaders project. HTML version by Al Haines. Observations by Mr. Dooley by Finley Peter Dunne A Little Essay on Books The Law's Delays Sherlock Holmes International Amenities Art Patronage Immigration White House Discipline Money and Matrimony Prince Henry's Visit Prince Henry's Reception Cuba vs. Beet Sugar Bad Men From The West European Intervention The Philippine Peace Soldier and Policeman King Edward's Coronation One Advantage of Poverty The Fighting Word Home Life of Geniuses Reform Administration Work and Sport The Names of a Week The End of the War Newport Arctic Exploration Machinery Swearing The War Game Newspaper Publicity Adventure Rights and Privileges of Women Avarice and Generosity The End of Things Hypocrisy History Enjoyment Gratitude A Little Essay on Books "Hogan tells me that wan iv th' first things man done afther he'd larned to kill his neighborin' animals, an' make a meal iv wan part iv thim an' a vest iv another, was to begin to mannyfacther lithrachoor, an' it's been goin' on up to th' prisint day. Thim was times that th' Lord niver heerd about, but is as well known to manny a la-ad in th' univarsity iv southren Injyanny as if th' histhry iv thim was printed on a poster. Hogan says a pro-fissor with a shovel an' a bad bringin'-up can go out annywhere along th' dhrainage-canal an' prove to ye that th' Bible is no more thin an exthry avenin' edition iv th' histhry iv th' wurruld, an' th' Noah fam'ly was considhered new arrivals in th' neighborhood where they lived. He says he'll show ye th' earth as though 't was a section iv a layer-cake or an archytect's dhrawin' iv a flat-buildin', an' p'int out how 't was accumylated. "First 't was a mere squdge in which ne'er a livin' thing cud be found. This peryod lasted a few millyion years, an' thin th' mush caked an' become buildin'-materyal, an' threes grew out iv th' buildin'-materyal an' fell down an' become coal. Thin th' wather come--but where it come fr'm I don't know, f'r they was no God at th' time--an' covered th' earth, an' thin th' wather evaporated an' left little p'ints iv land shtickin' up with ready-made men an' women occypyin' thim, an' at that moment th' Bible begun. Ye might say we 're livin' on th' roof iv a flat, with all th' apartmints beneath us occypied be th' bones iv submarine monsthers an' other tinants.