"I hope he'll make a good king. I ain't so much down on kings as I used to be, Hinnissy. I ain't down on thim anny more because I don't invy thim, an' ye can't be down on anny man ye don't invy. 'Tis a hard job an' a thankless wan. A king nowadays is no more thin a hitchin' post f'r wan pollytician afther another. He ain't allowed to move himsilf, but anny crazy pollytician that ties up to him is apt to pull him out be th' roots. He niver has anny childhood. He's like th' breaker-boys in th' mines; he's put to wurruk larnin' his thrade as soon as he can walk. Whin it comes time f'r him to marry, th' prime ministher takes him out wan day an' says: 'There's th' on'y woman in th' wurruld f'r ye.' 'But I niver see her befure,' says th' unforchnit king. 'Ye'll see less iv her afther nex' week,' says th' prime ministher. 'Ye're goin' to marry her,' he says. An' he backs him up to th' bench where th' young lady sets an' inthrajooces thim an' they're marrid. Think iv havin' th' boord iv aidhermen silict a wife f'r ye an' ye'll know how th' king feels whin a warrant is sarved again' him to hook up with his cousin Agoosta Ann, a German lady who freckles aisily an' croshays neckties f'r a lift'nant in th' army. All his life long a king is bossed about like a hired girl in a boardin' house, an' he can't aven die without havin' a lot iv people runnin' in ivry tin minyits to ask has he done it yet so they can be on th' mark to holler 'God save th' king' out iv th' front window th' moment th' flag falls. No, sir; I don't want to be a king an' whiniver I see a good fellow takin' th' job, I feel sorry f'r him. I know what he is up again'." "I believe ye're no betther thin th' rest iv thim thraitors," said Mr. Hennessy. "I'm diff'rent," said Mr. Dooley, calmly. "They helped him in an' I'd do annything in me power, now that he is king, to help him out." One Advantage of Poverty "Well, sir," said Mr. Dooley, "ye ought to be glad ye're not sick an' illusthrees at th' same time." "How's that?" Mr. Hennessy demanded.