E-text prepared by Suzanne Lybarger, Irma Spehar, and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team (http://www.pgdp.net/) from page images generously made available by Internet Archive/Canadian Libraries (http://www.archive.org/details/toronto) Note: Images of the original pages are available through Internet Archive/Canadian Libraries. See http://www.archive.org/details/observationsorderly00muiruoft OBSERVATIONS OF AN ORDERLY Some Glimpses of Life and Work in an English War Hospital by L.-CPL. WARD MUIR, R.A.M.C. (T.) Simpkin, Marshall, Hamilton, Kent & Co., Ltd., 4 Stationers' Hall Court : : : London, E.C.4 Copyright First published July 1917 Novels by the Author of "Observations of an Orderly" THE AMAZING MUTES WHEN WE ARE RICH CUPID'S CATERERS Also Editor of "HAPPY--THOUGH WOUNDED" The Book of the Third London General Hospital TO LT.-COL. H.E. BRUCE PORTER, C.M.G. OFFICER IN COMMAND OF THE 3RD LONDON GENERAL HOSPITAL Some passages from _Observations of an Orderly_ have appeared, generally in a shorter form, in _The Spectator_, _The New Statesman_, _The Hospital_, _The Evening Standard_, _The National News_, _The Dundee Advertiser_, _The Daily News_, and _The Daily Mail_. The author desires to make the usual acknowledgments to their editors. The coloured design on the paper wrapper is by Sergeant Noel Irving, R.A.M.C. (T.), a member of the unit at the 3rd London General Hospital. CONTENTS I PAGE MY FIRST DAY 19 II LIFE IN THE ORDERLIES' HUTS 33 III WASHING-UP 51 IV A "HUT" HOSPITAL 65 V FROM THE "D BLOCK" WARDS 79 VI WHEN THE WOUNDED ARRIVE 93 VII "T.... A...." 107 VIII LAUNDRY PROBLEMS 121 IX ON BUTTONS 137 X A WORD ABOUT "SLACKERS IN KHAKI" 147 XI THE RECREATION ROOMS 159 XII THE COCKNEY 173 XIII THE STATION PARTY 201 XIV SLANG IN A WAR HOSPITAL 219 XV A BLIND MAN'S HOME-COMING 235 I MY FIRST DAY The sergeant in charge of the clothing store was curt. He couldn't help it: he had run short of tunics, also of "pants"--except three pairs which wouldn't fit me, wouldn't fit anybody, unless we enlisted three very fat dwarfs: he had kept on asking for tunics and pants, and they'd sent him nothing but great-coats and water-bottles: I could take his word for it, he wished he was at the Front, he did, instead of in this blessed hole filling in blessed forms for blessed clothes which never came. Impossible, anyhow, to rig me out. I was going on duty, was I? Then I must go on duty in my "civvies."