Odd craft [complete]Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
Odd craft [complete]
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Sailors -- Fiction
“And what am I to explain to Mrs. Dutton?” demanded Mr. Burton, after a
quarter of an hour’s altercation.
“Anything you like,” said his generous friend. “Tell her I’m engaged to
my cousin, and our marriage keeps being put off and off on account of
my eccentric behaviour. And you can say that that was caused by a
splinter of a shell striking my head. Tell any lies you like; I shall
never turn up again to contradict them. If she tries to find out things
about the admiral, remind her that she promised to keep his visit here
secret.”
For over an hour Mr. Burton sat weighing the advantages and
disadvantages of this proposal, and then—Mr. Stiles refusing to seal
the bargain without—shook hands upon it and went off to bed in a state
of mind hovering between homicide and lunacy.
He was up in good time next morning, and, returning the shortest
possible answers to the remarks of Mr. Stiles, who was in excellent
feather, went with him to the railway station to be certain of his
departure.
It was a delightful morning, cool and bright, and, despite his
misfortunes. Mr. Burton’s spirits began to rise as he thought of his
approaching deliverance. Gloom again overtook him at the
booking-office, where the unconscionable Mr. Stiles insisted firmly
upon a first-class ticket.
“Who ever heard of an admiral riding third?” he demanded, indignantly.
“But they don’t know you’re an admiral,” urged Mr. Burton, trying to
humour him.
“No; but I feel like one,” said Mr. Stiles, slapping his pocket. “I’ve
always felt curious to see what it feels like travelling first-class;
besides, you can tell Mrs. Dutton.”
“I could tell ’er that in any case,” returned Mr. Burton.
Mr. Stiles looked shocked, and, time pressing, Mr. Burton, breathing so
hard that it impeded his utterance, purchased a first-class ticket and
conducted him to the carriage. Mr. Stiles took a seat by the window and
lolling back put his foot up on the cushions opposite. A large bell
rang and the carriage-doors were slammed.
“Good-bye, George,” said the traveller, putting his head to the window.
“I’ve enjoyed my visit very much.”
“Good riddance,” said Mr. Burton, savagely.
[Illustration]
Mr. Stiles shook his head. “I’m letting you off easy,” he said, slowly.
“If it hadn’t ha’ been for one little thing I’d have had the widow
myself.”
“What little thing?” demanded the other, as the train began to glide
slowly out.
“My wife,” said Mr. Stiles, as a huge smile spread slowly over his
face. “Good-bye, George, and don’t forget to give my love when you go
round.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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