Odd craft [complete]Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
Odd craft [complete]
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Sailors -- Fiction
“Don’t call on me as a witness, that’s all,” continued Mr. Drill. “I
never was a mischief-maker, and I shouldn’t like to have to tell how
you lent your helmet to Sims so that he could pretend he had knocked
Cooper down and taken it from him.”
[Illustration]
“Wouldn’t look at all well,” said Mr. Gunnill, nodding his head sagely.
Mr. Jenkins breathed hard and looked from one to the other. It was
plain that it was no good reminding them that he had not had a case for
five years.
“When I say that I know who did it,” he said, slowly, “I mean that I
have my suspicions.”
“Ah,” said Mr. Drill, “that’s a very different thing.”
“Nothing like the same,” said Mr. Gunnill, pouring the constable a
glass of ale.
Mr. Jenkins drank it and smacked his lips feebly.
“Sims needn’t know anything about that helmet being repaired,” he said
at last.
“Certainly not,” said everybody.
Mr. Jenkins sighed and turned to Drill.
“It’s no good spoiling the ship for a ha’porth o’ tar,” he said, with a
faint suspicion of a wink.
“No,” said Drill, looking puzzled.
“Anything that’s worth doing at all is worth doing well,” continued the
constable, “and while I’m drinking another glass with Mr. Gunnill here,
suppose you go into the kitchen with that useful bag o’ yours and
finish repairing my truncheon?”
THE PERSECUTION OF BOB PRETTY
The old man sat on his accustomed bench outside the Cauliflower. A
generous measure of beer stood in a blue and white jug by his elbow,
and little wisps of smoke curled slowly upward from the bowl of his
churchwarden pipe. The knapsacks of two young men lay where they were
flung on the table, and the owners, taking a noon-tide rest, turned a
polite, if bored, ear to the reminiscences of grateful old age.
Poaching, said the old man, who had tried topics ranging from early
turnips to horseshoeing—poaching ain’t wot it used to be in these ’ere
parts. Nothing is like it used to be, poaching nor anything else; but
that there man you might ha’ noticed as went out about ten minutes ago
and called me “Old Truthfulness” as ’e passed is the worst one I know.
Bob Pretty ’is name is, and of all the sly, artful, deceiving men that
ever lived in Claybury ’e is the worst—never did a honest day’s work in
’is life and never wanted the price of a glass of ale.
[Illustration]
Bob Pretty’s worst time was just after old Squire Brown died. The old
squire couldn’t afford to preserve much, but by-and-by a gentleman with
plenty o’ money, from London, named Rockett, took ’is place and things
began to look up. Pheasants was ’is favourites, and ’e spent no end o’
money rearing of ’em, but anything that could be shot at suited ’im,
too.
He started by sneering at the little game that Squire Brown ’ad left,
but all ’e could do didn’t seem to make much difference; things
disappeared in a most eggstrordinary way, and the keepers went pretty
near crazy, while the things the squire said about Claybury and
Claybury men was disgraceful.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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