Odd craft [complete]Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
Odd craft [complete]
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Sailors -- Fiction
“I ’ad an uncle o’ mine see a ghost once,” said a third man, anxious to
relieve the tension.
“And what ’appened?” inquired the first speaker.
“I’ll tell you after Joe’s gone,” said the other, with rare
consideration.
Mr. Carter called for some more beer and told the barmaid to put a
little gin in it. In a pitiable state of “nerves” he sat at the extreme
end of a bench, and felt that he was an object of unwholesome interest
to his acquaintances. The finishing touch was put to his discomfiture
when a well-meaning friend in a vague and disjointed way advised him to
give up drink, swearing, and any other bad habits which he might have
contracted.
[Illustration]
The committee of the Ancient Order of Camels took the news calmly, and
classed it with pink rats and other abnormalities. In reply to Mrs.
Blows’s request for the capital sum, they expressed astonishment that
she could be willing to tear herself away from the hero’s grave, and
spoke of the pain which such an act on her part would cause him in the
event of his being conscious of it. In order to show that they were
reasonable men, they allowed her an extra shilling that week.
The hero threw the dole on the bedroom floor, and in a speech bristling
with personalities, consigned the committee to perdition. The
confinement was beginning to tell upon him, and two nights afterward,
just before midnight, he slipped out for a breath of fresh air.
It was a clear night, and all Gravelton with one exception, appeared to
have gone to bed. The exception was Police-constable Collins, and he,
after tracking the skulking figure of Mr. Blows and finally bringing it
to bay in a doorway, kept his for a fortnight. As a sensible man, Mr.
Blows took no credit to himself for the circumstance, but a natural
feeling of satisfaction at the discomfiture of a member of a force for
which he had long entertained a strong objection could not be denied.
Gravelton debated this new appearance with bated breath, and even the
purblind committee of the Camels had to alter their views. They no
longer denied the supernatural nature of the manifestations, but, with
a strange misunderstanding of Mr. Blows’s desires, attributed his
restlessness to dissatisfaction with the projected tombstone, and,
having plenty of funds, amended their order for a plain stone at ten
guineas to one in pink marble at twenty-five.
“That there committee,” said Mr. Blows to his wife, in a trembling
voice, as he heard of the alteration—“that there committee seem to
think that they can play about with my money as they like. You go and
tell ’em you won’t ’ave it. And say you’ve given up the idea of going
to Australia and you want the money to open a shop with. We’ll take a
little pub somewhere.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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