"I had thought at one time," he went on, "of sending her to Court. I
could get her in, under the protection of my Lady Arlington. But the
Court is no place for a maiden who knows nothing of the world. What
would you advise, Cousin Roger? I would not have her marry a Protestant,
if I could help it."
And with that he looked at me again.
Then, all of a sudden I saw his meaning; and my heart stood still; for
not only did his words reveal him to me, but myself also; and I
understood why he had questioned me so closely in town, as to my
fortune. I cannot say at this time that I loved my Cousin Dolly--for I
had not known that I loved her--but his words were very effective.
Indeed I had not thought to marry, though I was free to do so; for a
novice does not quickly shake off his monkishness. I had thought far
more of the mission I was come to England upon, and what I could
accomplish, with God's blessing, for Christ and His Church. But, as I
say, my heart stood still when my cousin said that to me; for, as in a
vision, I saw myself here as her husband, and her as my wife, in this
house among its gardens. Here we might live a life which even the angels
might envy--harmless, innocent, separate from sinners, as the Apostle
says--not accomplishing, maybe, any great things, but at least
refraining from the hindering of God's Kingdom. The summers would come
and go, and we still be here, with our children growing about us, to
inherit the place and the name, such as it was. And no harm done, no
vows broken, no offence to any. Such thoughts as these did not as yet
shew any very great ardour of love in me; and indeed I had not got this
yet; but she was the first maid I had ever had any acquaintance with, at
least for some while; and this no doubt, had its effect upon me. All
this came upon me of a sudden; and as I lifted my eyes I saw my Cousin
Dolly's sunbonnet going among the herbs of the garden; and saw her in my
mind's eye too as I had seen her just now, cool and innocent and good,
with that touch of hidden fire in her eyes that draws a man's heart.
Neither had she looked unkindly on me: our intimacy had made wonderful
progress, though I had known her scarcely more than a week: she had
spoken to me of her father, too, as one would speak only to a friend.
Yet I could not say one word of this to him; for he had not said
anything explicit to me: and I knew, too, that I must give myself time;
for a man does not, if he is wise, change the course of his life on an
instant's thought. Yet I must not say No outright, and thereby, maybe,
bang the door on my new hopes.
"I could not advise you at present," I said. "I do not know my cousin
well enough to advise anything. I am one with you so far as concerns the
Court: I cannot think that any Catholic father should send his daughter
into such a den of lions--and worse. And I am one with you as concerns
marrying her to a Protestant. Yet I can say no more at present."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account