"Anything here for Studz?" said the man in the business suit, when he
was sure that enough people were listening.
"No, sir," sighed the boy. "Mr. Blevitch, Mr. Kenworthy, Mr. Shriner,
Mr. Bodkin?" he suggested, hopefully.
"Naw," replied the man, and turned to his associates with an air of
saying: "Rotten service here--just think of it, no call for me!"
On we went again. The boy was plainly skeptical. He read his lines
without feeling. The management had led him into this; all he could do
was to take it with as good grace as possible.
He slid past the coat-room girl at the exit (no small accomplishment
in itself) and down a corridor, disappearing through a swinging door
at the end. I was in no mood to lose out on the finish after following
so far, and I dashed after him.
The door led into a little alcove and another palpitating door at the
opposite end showed me where he had gone. Setting my jaw for no
particular reason, I pushed my way through.
At first, like the poor olive merchant in the Arabian Nights I was
blinded by the glare of lights and the glitter of glass and silver.
Oh, yes, and by the snowy whiteness of the napery, too. "By the napery
of the neck" wouldn't be a bad line to get off a little later in the
story. I'll try it.
At any rate, it was but the work of a minute for me to realize that I
had entered by a service entrance into the grand dining-room of the
establishment, where, if you are not in evening dress, you are left to
munch bread and butter until you starve to death and are carried out
with your heels dragging, like the uncouth lout that you are. It was,
if I may be allowed the phrase, a galaxy of beauty, with every one
dressed up like the pictures. And I had entered 'way up front, by the
orchestra.
Now, mind you, I am not ashamed of my gray suit. I like it, and my
wife says that I haven't had anything so becoming for a long time. But
in it I didn't check up very strong against the rest of the boys in
the dining-room. As a gray suit it is above reproach. As a garment in
which to appear single-handed through a trapdoor before a dining-room
of well dressed Middle Westerners it was a fizzle from start to
finish. Add to this the items that I had to snatch a brown soft hat
from my head when I found out where I was, which caused me to drop the
three evening papers I had tucked under my arm, and you will see why
my up-stage entrance was the signal for the impressive raising of
several dozen eyebrows, and why the captain approached me just exactly
as one man approaches another when he is going to throw him out.
(Blank space for insertion of "napery of neck" line, if desired.
Choice optional with reader.)
I saw that anything that I might say would be used against me, and
left him to read the papers I had dropped. One only lowers one's self
by having words with a servitor.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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