Lady Sarah did not say no, and the pale young man looked vaguely from
one to the other of the two little girls as they stood there, and then
he took one step towards Dolly, who was the biggest, and who was
standing, straight and tall for her age, in her light-coloured dress,
with her straw hat hanging on her arm. I don't know how to write this of
my poor little heroine. If he had seemed more unhappy, if he had not
looked so strangely and spoken so oddly, she might have understood him
better; but as it was, she thought he was saying terrible things,
laughing and jeering and heartless; so judged Dolly in an innocent
severity. Is it so? Are not the children of this world wiser in their
generation than the children of light? Are there not depths of sin and
repentance undreamt of by the pure in spirit? One seems to grasp at a
meaning which eludes one as one strains at it, wondering what is the
sermon to be preached upon this text.... It was one that little Dolly,
still playing in her childish and peaceful valley, could not understand.
She might forgive as time went on; she had not lived long enough yet
either to forgive or to forget; never once had it occurred to her that
any thought of hers, either of blame or forgiveness, could signify to
any other human being, or that any word or sign of hers could have a
meaning to any one except herself.
Dolly was true to herself, and in those days she used to think that all
her life long she would be always true, and always say all she felt. As
life grows long, and people, living on together through time and sorrow
and experience, realise more and more the complexities of their own
hearts, and sympathise more and more with the failings and sorrows of
others, they are apt to ask themselves with dismay if it is a reality of
life to be less and less uncompromising as complexities increase, less
true to themselves as they are more true to others, and if the very
angels of God are wrestling and at war in their hearts. All through her
life Dolly found, with a bitter experience, that these two angels of
charity and of truth are often very far apart until the miracle of love
comes to unite them. She was strong and true; in after days she prayed
for charity; with charity came sorrow, and doubt, and perplexity.
Charity is long-suffering and kind, and thinks no evil; but then comes
truth crying out, 'Is not wrong wrong; is not falsehood a lie?' Perhaps
it is because truth is not for this life that the two are at variance,
until the day shall come when the light shall come, and with the light
peace and knowledge and love, and then charity itself will be no longer
needed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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