"All the fun of the fair,"--a wooden toy which, when drawn smartly down the back or across the shoulders, emits a sound as if the garment were being rent--ranks perhaps second in the estimation of 'Arry and Emma Ann--she generally gets called Emma Ran--when out for a holiday. "The Fun of the Fair" is always about on public holidays, illuminations, Lord Mayor's day, and in fact whenever people are drawn out of doors in, such multitudes that the pathways are insufficient to hold the slowly moving and densely packed human stream, which perforce slops over and amicably disputes possession of the road with the confused and struggling mass of vehicles composed of everything that goes on wheels. A real Malacca cane, the smallest Bible in the world, a Punch and Judy squeaker, a bird warbler, a gold watch and chain, and Scotch bagpipes, are, with numerous others, at present popular and tempting penn'orths; while the cry of "A penny for shillin' 'lusterated magazine"--the epitaph on countless unsuccessful literary ventures--seems to many an irresistible attraction. In connection with 'Arry, the chief producer of street noises, it may be questioned whether London is now much better off than it was before the passing of the Elizabethan Statutes of the Streets, by which citizens were forbidden, under pain of imprisonment, to blow a horn in the night, or to whistle after the hour of nine o'clock p.m. Sudden outcries in the still of the night, and the making of any affray, or the beating of one's wife--the noise rather than the brutality appears to have been objected to--were also specially forbidden. If this old Act is still on the Statute-book, it is none the less a dead letter. Our streets are now paraded by companies of boys or half-grown men who delight in punishing us by means of that blatant and horribly noisy instrument of dissonant, unchangeable chords, the German concertina. In many neighbourhoods sleep is rendered, until the early hours, impossible by men and women who find their principal and unmolested amusement in the shouting of music-hall songs, with an intermittent accompaniment of shriekings. Professional street music of all kinds requires more stringent regulation; and that produced by perambulating amateurs might with advantage be well-nigh prohibited altogether. The ringing of Church bells in the grey of the morning, and the early habits of the chanticleer, are often among the disadvantages of a closely populated neighbourhood. Nor are these street noises the only nuisance of the kind. London walls and partitions are nearly all thin, and a person whose neighbour's child is in the habit of practising scale exercises or "pieces," should clearly have the right to require the removal of the piano a foot or so from the wall, which would make all the difference between dull annoyance and distracting torment.