Old Man Curry: Race Track StoriesVan Loan, Charles E. (Charles Emmett)
General
Old Man Curry: Race Track Stories
Van Loan, Charles E. (Charles Emmett)
Horse racing -- Fiction
It was the Bald-faced Kid who christened him Little Calamity because,
as he explained, Jockey Gillis was a sniffling, whining, half portion
of hard luck and a disgrace to the disreputable profession of
touting. "Every season," said the Bald-faced Kid, "is a tough season
for a guy like that. He carries his hard luck with him. He's cockeyed
something awful; his face was put on upside down; you can't tell
whether he's looking you in the eye or watching out for a policeman,
and drunks shy clear across the betting ring to get away from him.
That's the tip-off; when a souse won't listen to your gentle voice,
it's time to change your system of approach. This Little Calamity
person has only got one thing in his favour, and that's an honest
face; he _looks_ like a thief, and, by golly, he _is_ one. He
couldn't sell a twenty-dollar gold piece for a dime or make a sucker
put down a bet with the winning numbers already hanging on the board
in front of him. They all give him the once over and holler for the
police. And as for his riding, he's about as much help to a horse as
a fine case of the heaves. I'm darned if I know how he manages to
live!"
Little Calamity sometimes wondered about this himself. Of course
there were the rare occasions when he was able to persuade a
weak-minded owner to give him a mount on a hopeless outsider or a
horse entered only for the sake of the workout, but the five-dollar
jockey fees were few and far between. They could not be stretched to
cover the intervening periods, so Little Calamity did his best to be
a petty larcenist with indifferent success.
He infested the betting ring with a persistence almost pitiful, but
he had neither the appearance nor the manner which begets confidence
in unlikely tales, and in his mouth the truth itself sounded like a
fabrication. He was a willing but an unconvincing liar, and the few
who lingered long enough to listen to his clumsy attempts went away
smiling.
Little Calamity was nearer thirty than twenty, wrinkled and weazened
and bow-legged. Worse than everything else, he was cross-eyed. The
direct and compelling gaze is an absolute necessity in the touting
business because the average man believes that the liar will be
unable to look him in the eye. Little Calamity could not look any man
in the eye without first undergoing a surgical operation. He had few
acquaintances and no friends; he ate when he could slept where he
could, and life to him was just a continued hard-luck story.
Imagine, then, the incredulous amazement of the Bald-faced Kid when
Old Man Curry informed him that Jockey Gillis had secured steady
employment.
"That shrimp?" said the Kid. "Why, if he had the ice-water privilege
in hell he'd starve to death!"
"Frank," said the old man, "I wish you wouldn't be so blame keerless
with your figures of speech. There won't be any ice water for the
wicked, it says in the Book, and, anyway, it ain't a fit subject to
joke about. It don't sound pretty."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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