Old Mole: Being the Surprising Adventures in England of Herbert Jocelyn Beenham, M.A., Sometime Sixth-Form Master at Thrigsby Grammar School in the County of LancasterCannan, Gilbert
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Old Mole: Being the Surprising Adventures in England of Herbert Jocelyn Beenham, M.A., Sometime Sixth-Form Master at Thrigsby Grammar School in the County of Lancaster
Cannan, Gilbert
England -- Fiction; Husband and wife -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Theater -- Fiction
And he resolved to take a Turkish bath before dining at the club. He
did so, and was baked and kneaded and pummeled and lathered back into
a tolerable humor, and, as he lay swathed in warm towels and smoking
an excellent cigar, he faced the situation, yielded to it, let it
sting and nip at his heart, and was so racked with its pain that he
could form no clear idea of it, nor struggle, but only lie limp and
pray to God, or whatever devil had let such furies loose upon him,
that the worst might soon be over before he was betrayed into any
brutal or foolish act. He was amazed to find that his vanity had been
slain: it had died in the night of shock, so he diagnosed it. No
longer was he concerned with what other people would think of himself.
The cruel pain twinged the sharper for it, and he saw that vanity is a
protective crust, a shell grown by man to cover his nakedness. . . .
His general ideas were clear enough: and the amusement of them served
to distract him in his agony. It tickled him to think of a Turkish
bath in Jermyn Street as the scene of such a mighty sorrow, and said:
"So much the better for the Turkish bath. It becomes the equal of Troy
or Elsinore or the palace of Andromache, and nobler, for mine is a
real and no poet's tragedy. It is a true tragedy, or, my vanity being
dead, I should not bother my head about it. . . . Is my vanity dead? I
have shed it as a crab his claw or a lizard his tail. It will grow
again."
He sank deep into pain until it seemed to him he could suffer no more,
and then he went over to his club and dined fastidiously--a crab (to
inspect its claw), a quail, and a devil on horseback, with a bottle of
claret, very deliberately selected in consultation with the head
waiter. Throughout his meal he read the wine list from cover to cover
and back again, and thought how closely it resembled the Thrigsby
school list. It contained so many familiar names that he was put out
at its not including Panoukian's, and of Panoukian slowly he began to
think: at first sleepily and in the gross content of his good dinner,
as a wine, heady, sparkling, inclined to rawness, too soon bottled, or
too soon uncorked, he could not be certain which. Then he thought of
Panoukian as a man, and a savage anger burst in upon him, and he
thought of Panoukian's deed as the atmosphere of the club dictated he
should think of it. Panoukian had acted dirtily and dishonorably: he
should be hounded out, hounded out. Panoukian had wormed himself into
his (Old Mole's) affections and trust, to betray both. He had shown
himself a cad, a blackguard, a breaker of the laws of hospitality and
good society. . . . There was a solid plumpness in this conception of
Panoukian that pleased Old Mole almost sensually, gave him the same
sort of mouth-watering anticipation as the breast had done of the
quail he had just eaten. He had Panoukian nicely dished up, brown,
done to a turn: he would poise the knife for one gloating moment,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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