Old Mole: Being the Surprising Adventures in England of Herbert Jocelyn Beenham, M.A., Sometime Sixth-Form Master at Thrigsby Grammar School in the County of Lancaster — John Shaqi
Old Mole: Being the Surprising Adventures in England of Herbert Jocelyn Beenham, M.A., Sometime Sixth-Form Master at Thrigsby Grammar School in the County of LancasterCannan, Gilbert
General
Old Mole: Being the Surprising Adventures in England of Herbert Jocelyn Beenham, M.A., Sometime Sixth-Form Master at Thrigsby Grammar School in the County of Lancaster
Cannan, Gilbert
England -- Fiction; Husband and wife -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Theater -- Fiction
The charge was made and entered. The girl's name was Matilda Burn, a
domestic servant. She was prompted by the parson, who swept aside her
reluctance to speak. Old Mole was asked to give his name, address and
occupation. He burst into a passionate flow of words, but was
interrupted and coldly reminded that he was only desired to give bare
information on three points, and that anything he might say would be
used against him in evidence. He explained his identity, and the
officer at the ledger looked startled, but entered the particulars in
slow writing with a scratchy pen. The parson and the girl disappeared.
The officer at the ledger cleared his throat, turned to the accused,
opened his mouth, but did not speak. He scratched his ear with his
pen, stooped and blew a fly off the page in front of him, made a
visible effort to suppress his humanity and conduct the affair in
accordance with official routine, and finally blurted out:
"Do you want bail?"
Old Mole gave the name and address of his Head Master.
"You can write if you like."
The letter was written, read by the officer, and despatched. There was
a whispered consultation behind the ledger, during which the unhappy
schoolmaster read through again and again a list of articles and dogs
missing, and then he was led to the inspector's room and given a
newspaper to read.
"Extraordinary!" he said to himself. Then he thought of the Panoukians
and began to fidget at the idea of being late. He abominated
unpunctuality. Had he not again and again had to punish young
Panoukian for indulgence in the vice? The six-twenty-four had given
him ample time. He pulled out his watch: Still twenty-five minutes,
but he must hurry. He looked round the bare, dingy room vaguely,
wonderingly. Incisively the idea of his situation bit into his brain.
He was in custody--_carcer,_ a prison. How absurd it was, rather
funny! It only needed a little quiet, level-headed explanation and he
would be free. The "chief" would confirm his story, his identity.
. . . They would laugh over it. Very funny: very funny. A wonderful
story for the club. He chuckled over it to himself until he began to
think of the outcome. More than once he had served on a Grand Jury and
had slept through the consideration of hundreds of indictments: a
depressing experience for which the judge had rewarded him with
nothing but compliments and an offer of a pass to view His Majesty's
prison. That brought him up with a jerk. He was in custody, charged
with a most serious offence, for which he would be tried at the
Assizes. It was monstrous, preposterous! It must be stopped at once.
What a grotesque mistake! What an egregious, yet what a serious
blunder! That officious idiot of a parson!
The Head Master arrived. He glowered at his colleague and seemed very
agitated. He said:
"This is very serious, most unfortunate. It is--ah--as well for the
prestige of the school that it has happened at the end of term. We
must hush it up, hush it up."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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