Hesakiah Sprouts: “Fris, you ain’ got salbation nuff in yo’ heart, dat’s what’s de matter wid you! Ef’n you had uh bin wha Jona wuz, in de whale’s belly fuh three days, you’d uh had spavins an’ cramps, kase you wudn’ had any faith an’ condidence in de whale, but Jona did.” Frisby Jemes: “Hessa, ef’n you had bin ris’ by de qual’ty you wudn’ say belly in de presence ub dese sistus; hits bad nuff in de presence ub shirks. Den ergin, da ain’ no whales in dis ’bate.” Hessa: “Why, you don’ no nuffin erbout de Bible, Fris! Talkin’ ’bout qual’ty; I reckon de prodigal son ’longed ter de qual’ty, didn’t he? His father had plenty ub serbants, fuh de Bible say: ‘An’ when he cum ter hissef he said, “How many hired serbants ub meh father’s hab bread ter spare an’ I perish wid honger?”’ An’ now, lis’n to dis: ‘An’ he fain wud hab filled his _belly_ wid de husks dat de swine did eat.’ Now, ef’n Jona, de prodigal son, St. Matthew, King Solomon, Jerry Myah, Genesis, an’ lars, but not leas’, John de Babtis, who all hab spoke on dis subjec’, didn’ cum fum de qual’ty, wha’ did de qual’ty cum fum? I will preserb de res’ ub meh remarks fuh de ’clusion.” Aunt Kyarline (in a whisper): “Hes, don’ you mine Fris; his haid bin turnt since he bin drivin’ de coach fuh Ole Miss.” Uncle Reubin Viney was Sir Oracle among the negroes. He was very pious and austere, looked like an old portrait, could read a little, and spent his Sundays in reading and memorizing verses from the Bible. If he talked to you five minutes he would quote something from the Bible. When he got up all ears were listening, and all mouths were open. He said: “Sistus, brudders an’ chillun, I is bin readin’ an’ studdyin’ fuh three weeks on dis ’bate, an’ Becky say she is tired ub dippin’ candles fuh me ter read by. De young oxen I is brakin’ is de wus’ I eber han’led; so worryin’ wid dem in de day time an’ rasslin’ wid dis ’bate at night, mecks me truly glad dat de time is come ter arbiter. I shall try an’ confine mehsef ter one word—watah. You will see de application pres’ny. Sister Sue, meck dat boy teck his musrat gum of’n de pew; you kin set yo’ musrat gum in de mash ez much ez you want, but not on dese pews, kase dey’re sanctified. “We read in de fus’ book ub Gensis, ’dat a ribber went out ub Edum ter watah de gyarden,’ an’ in Sams, ‘He maketh me ter lie down in green pastures, he leadeth me beside de still watahs.’ De _still_ watah wuz de drink ub Mars Adum an’ Miss Eve in deah Edum home. Da wan’ no snakes, shirks, frogs, whales, er crockdiles in dat watah, fuh de Bible spressify hit wuz _still_ watah. An’ mon dat, it mussa bin fresh, kase dey drunk it, an’ it mussa bin jes’ ez clare ez uh jewdrap, fuh I heah uh gre’t Meffodis’ preacher say: ‘It ’flected back de lubliness ub Miss Eve when she dress hersef.’” Aunt Tillie: “Uncle Reubin, Miss Eve didn’ hab no clos’ ter dress wid!”