"No doubt," said Cupid. "You can also possibly understand how a
quarrel between the only two women you ever loved could incapacitate
you for your duties. For ten days after that I was simply incapable of
directing the love affairs of the universe properly. Persons I'd
designed for each other were given to others, and a great deal of
unhappiness resulted. There were nine thousand six hundred and
seventy-six divorces as the result of that week's work. It's a
terrible situation for a well-meaning chap to have to decide between
his wife and his mother."
"Never had it," said I; "but I can imagine it."
"Don't think you can," sighed Cupid. "There are situations in real
life, sir, which surpass the wildest flights of the imagination. That
is why truth is stranger than fiction. However," he added, his face
brightening, "it was a useful experience to me in my professional
work. I learned for the first time that when a mother-in-law comes in
at the door, intending to remain indefinitely, love flies out at the
window. Or, as Solomon--I believe it was Solomon. He wrote Proverbs,
did he not?"
"Yes," said I. "He and Josh Billings."
"Well," vouchsafed Cupid, "I can't swear as to the authorship of the
proverb, but some proverbialist said 'Two is company and three is a
crowd.' I'd never known that before, but I learned it then, and began
to stay away from home a little myself, so that we should not be
crowded."
I commended the young man for his philosophy.
"Nevertheless, my dear Dan," I added, "you ought to be more
autocratic. Knowing that two is company and three otherwise, you have
been guilty of allowing many a young couple who have trusted in you to
begin house-keeping with an inevitable third person. We see it every
day among the mortals."
"What has been good enough for me, sir," the boy returned, with a
comical assumption of sternness--he looked so like a fat baby of three
just ready for his bath--"is good enough for mortals. When I married
Psyche, I brought her home to my mother's house, and for some nineteen
thousand years we lived together. If Love can stand it, mortals must."
"Excuse me," said I, apologetically. "I have not suffered. However, in
all my study of you mythologians, it has never occurred to me before
this that Venus was the goddess of the mother-in-law."
"You mustn't blame me for that," said Cupid, dryly. "I'm the god of
Love; wisdom is out of my province. For what you don't know and
haven't learned you must blame Pallas, who is our Superintendent of
Public Instruction. She knows it all--and she got it darned easy, too.
She sprang forth from the head of Jove with a Ph.D. already conferred
upon her. She looks after the education of the world. I don't--but
I'll wager you anything you please to put up that man gains more real
experience under my management than he does from Athena's department,
useful as her work is."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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