5. Never stands at the omnibus door staring in upon the passengers, but sits down upon the seat provided for him outside. In this way he knows that he gains a double advantage: he is saved the fatigue of standing during a whole journey, and by looking backwards as the driver looks forwards, persons who wish to ride are more easily seen than if the driver and conductor are both looking the same way. 6. Never allows the driver to go on till the passengers are safely seated, and always directs him to pull up close either to the right or left hand of the street or road. THE ILL-CONDUCTED CONDUCTOR 1. Always bawls out “Bank--Bank--City--Bank--Bank--Bank--City--City--Bank--Bank--Bank!” by which disgusting noise his own lungs are injured, the public peace is disturbed, and not any advantage gained. 2. Always bangs the door so violently that if you are sitting next the door you are likely to be deafened for life. 3. Never provides any check-string, but compels the passengers who want to be set down to use their sticks, canes, and umbrellas, and loud shouts into the bargain, thereby creating a most intolerable nuisance. 4. Always takes up and sets down his passengers in the middle of the street; by which rudeness they are sometimes bespattered with mud and always exposed to danger. 5. Always stands at the door of the omnibus staring in upon the passengers, particularly after he has been eating his dinner of beefsteak, strong onions, and stale beer; and generally has some cad or other crony standing and talking with him. The air that would otherwise circulate through the omnibus, in the way of ventilation, is obstructed and poisoned. 6. Always bawls out “All right!” before the passengers have taken their seats, by which gross carelessness great inconvenience and even danger are often occasioned. But it was not only of the drivers and conductors that the public complained. The officials at the inquiry offices stationed at the starting-point of each line, were denounced as being utterly unfitted for the positions they occupied. All were rude, and most of them possessed but little intelligence. One afternoon, about twenty minutes past four, a gentleman entered the omnibus office at the George and Blue Boar, Holborn, and inquired of the clerk whether omnibuses started from there to a certain railway-station. “Yes,” was the reply. “At what hours?” “One hour before each train.” “Then I’m just in time to catch the 5.30 one.” “It’s all down in writing on that there board.” The traveller turned to the board, and, finding the 5.30 train entered upon it, went out into the street to await the arrival of the omnibus. But after pacing up and down for a quarter of an hour, and seeing no sign of a conveyance, he returned to the office and enquired when it would arrive. “It’s gone,” the official said. “Then it didn’t start from here,” the traveller declared. “I’ve been waiting outside since twenty past four.”