What changes in London are the things that also change in the life of
a man, and nothing more than the relationship of particular spots and
particular houses to our own lives. There is perhaps no city in the
world where, under the permanence of the general type, there is so
perpetual a flow and disturbance of association. It has even become
normal to the life of the citizens, and the conception of a fixed home
has left them. Here and there--but more and more rarely with every
year--you may point out a great house which some wealthy family has
chosen to inhabit for some few generations; but fixity of tenure,
tradition, family tradition at least, and sacred hereditary things,
either these were never proper to London or they have gone; it is this
which overspreads a continued knowledge of London with an increasing
loneliness and with memories that find no satisfaction or expression,
but re-enter the heart of a man and do a hurt to him there.
There are so many strange doors that should be familiar doors. Turning
sometimes into some street where one has turned for years to find at a
very well-known number windows of a certain aspect and little details
in the drab exterior of the house, every one of which was as familiar
as a smile, one is (by the mere association of years and of a gesture
repeated a thousand times) in the act of coming to the steps and of
seeking an entry. The whole place is as much one’s friend and as much
indicative of one’s friend as would be his clothes or his voice or any
other external thing. He is not there, and the house is worse than
empty. London grows full of such houses as a man grows older. Most of
us have other losses sharper still, which men of other cities know less
well, for most of us pass and repass the house where we were born, or
where as children we gathered all the strongest impressions of life. It
is impossible to believe that other souls are inheriting the effect of
those familiar rooms. It is worse than a death; it is a kind of treason.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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