‘And you travelled over fifty miles for such trifling matters? Wasted
three days?’
‘They are not trifling matters, Elena Nikolaevna, when my countrymen are
involved. It would be wicked to refuse in such cases. I see here that
you don’t refuse help even to puppies, and I think well of you for it.
And as for the time I have lost, that’s no great harm; I will make it up
later. Our time does not belong to us.’
‘To whom does it belong then?’
‘Why, to all who need us. I have told you all this on the spur of
the moment, because I value your good opinion. I can fancy how Andrei
Petrovitch must have made you wonder!’
‘You value my good opinion,’ said Elena, in an undertone, ‘why?’
Insarov smiled again.
‘Because you are a good young lady, not an aristocrat... that’s all.’
A short silence followed.
‘Dmitri Nikanorovitch,’ said Elena, ‘do you know that this is the first
time you have been so unreserved with me?’
‘How’s that? I think I have always said everything I thought to you.’
‘No, this is the first time, and I am very glad, and I too want to be
open with you. May I?’
Insarov began to laugh and said: ‘You may.’
‘I warn you I am very inquisitive.’
‘Never mind, tell me.’
‘Andrei Petrovitch has told me a great deal of your life, of your youth.
I know of one event, one awful event.... I know you travelled afterwards
in your own country.... Don’t answer me for goodness sake, if you think
my question indiscreet, but I am fretted by one idea.... Tell me, did
you meet that man?’
Elena caught her breath. She felt both shame and dismay at her own
audacity. Insarov looked at her intently, slightly knitting his brows,
and stroking his chin with his fingers.
‘Elena Nikolaevna,’ he began at last, and his voice was much lower than
usual, which almost frightened Elena, ‘I understand what man you are
referring to. No, I did not meet him, and thank God I did not! I did not
try to find him. I did not try to find him: not because I did not
think I had a right to kill him--I would kill him with a very easy
conscience--but because now is not the time for private revenge, when
we are concerned with the general national vengeance--or no, that is not
the right word--when we are concerned with the liberation of a people.
The one would be a hindrance to the other. In its own time that, too,
will come... that too will come,’ he repeated, and he shook his head.
Elena looked at him from the side.
‘You love your country very dearly?’ she articulated timidly.
‘That remains to be shown,’ he answered. ‘When one of us dies for her,
then one can say he loved his country.’
‘So that, if you were cut off all chance of returning to Bulgaria,’
continued Elena, ‘would you be very unhappy in Russia?’
Insarov looked down.
‘I think I could not bear that,’ he said.
‘Tell me,’ Elena began again, ‘is it difficult to learn Bulgarian?’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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