Now, it is all very well, doubtless, for the physician with a lucrative practice to advise his patient to take a long and expensive journey, and the well-to-do merchant, with characteristic foresight, to describe the best way of taking care of surplus funds; but how one whose income was "five hundred a year, and sass," as Peep at No. 5 has it, could make such directions useful, was a question. Nevertheless, in one such case, at least, that problem was solved; I will not say "how," without the permission of the generous friends who saved heart and brain that tug. So one pleasant autumn morning found me on my way to the El Dorado of broken-down dyspeptics and pining consumptives. A ride of fourteen hundred miles from my sick-room, and I was at Dubuque, weary, yet impatiently awaiting the steamer that was to take me to the rolling prairies and bracing air of Minnesota. I had seen "the lions," and had nothing to do but that most patience-trying of all vocations in this railroad era to wait—for a delaying conveyance. Hour after hour passed, and I had about given up expecting the boat, when the porter, touching his cap, said, "The steamer is coming, sir. Shall I take your baggage to the landing?" What a swarming hive was that Mississippi steamer! What part of the world was not represented in that motley, jostling throng! My first business was to secure a state-room, for it was plain that all on board would not have beds that night. Just then my friend's advice recurred, and I resolved it should be followed. "I would like a state-room entirely to myself," said I to the clerk. "Can I be accommodated?" "Can't tell about 'that!'" said he, crustily. Then, looking over his book, "Yes, here's 'one' empty—'forty-nine;' and here's the key," handing a key to which was attached a strip of leather marked 49. I was enough of an invalid to retire early, and, having disposed of my valise, turned to fasten the door, when, on inserting the key, I found that it would not fit the lock. Returning to the office, my very meek statement of the unpleasant fact did not add to the amiability of the clerk. He couldn't be responsible for every key on the boat; if the wrong one had been labeled forty-nine, it wasn't "his" fault. "All is," said he, "that's the only state-room, and that's the only key to it 'I' know of!" There was no redress. I could only go back to the state-room, barricade the door with such articles as were at hand, and make the best of it.