On the Stage--and Off: The Brief Career of a Would-Be ActorJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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On the Stage--and Off: The Brief Career of a Would-Be Actor
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Actors -- Great Britain -- Biography; Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka), 1859-1927
All this I was prepared for when I started, but no such ordeal was
in store for me. The difficulty of selecting lodgings was got rid of
altogether in the present case by there simply being no lodgings of
any kind to be let. It had evidently never occurred to the inhabitants
of this delightful spot that any human being could possibly desire to
lodge there, and I don’t wonder at it. There were a couple of inns
in the High Street, but country actors cannot afford inns, however
moderate, and of “Furnished Apartments” or “Bed Rooms for Single
Gentlemen” there were none. I explored every street in the town
without coming across a single bill, and then, as a last resource, I
went into a baker’s shop to inquire. I don’t know why bakers should be
better acquainted than any other tradesmen with the private affairs of
their neighbors, but that they are has always been my impression, or,
at least, _had_ been up till then, when it received a rude blow. I
asked two bakers, and both of them shook their heads, and knew of no
one who let lodgings. I was in despair, and the High Street, when I
glanced up and saw a very pleasant face smiling at me from the door of
a milliner’s shop. Somehow, the sight of it inspired me with hope. I
smiled back, and--
“Could the owner of the pleasant face recommend me to any lodgings?”
The owner of the pleasant face looked surprised. “Was Monsieur going
to stop in the town?” On Monsieur explaining that he was an actor,
Madame was delighted, and smiled more pleasantly than ever. “Madame
did so love the theater. Had not been to one for, Oh! so long time;
not since she did leave Regent Street--the Regent Street that was in
our London. Did Monsieur know London? Had been to heaps and heaps of
theaters then. And at Paris! Ah! Paris! Ah, the theaters at Paris! Ah!
But there was nothing to go to here. It was so quiet, so stupid, this
town. We English, we did seem so dull. Monsieur, son mari, he did not
mind it. He had been born here. He did love the sleepiness--the what
we did call the monotony. But Madame, she did love the gayety. This
place was, oh, so sad.”
Here Madame clasped her hands--pretty little hands they were, too--and
looked so piteous, that Monsieur felt, strongly inclined to take
her in his arms and comfort her. He, however, on second thoughts,
restrained his generous impulse.
Madame then stated her intention to go to the theater that very
evening, and requested to know what was to be played.
On Monsieur informing her that “--------, the World-Renowned Tragedian
from Drury Lane, would give his magnificent impersonations of _Richard
III._ and _The Idiot Witness_,” she seemed greatly impressed, and
hoped it was a comedy. Madame loved comedies. “To laugh at all the
fun--to be made merry--that was so good.” Monsieur thought that Madame
would have plenty to laugh at in the magnificent impersonations of
Richard III. and The Idiot Witness, even if she found the burlesque a
little heavy, but he didn’t say so.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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