Humorous stories; Love stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction
"Plenty, Sir," says Cubbins. "The roses'll be gone soon now, Sir; but
there's golden glow, and hasters comin' on, and zinnias, and----"
"Then you're engaged, Cubbins," says Old Hickory, "to supply the office
with fresh ones every day. When yours give out we'll have to buy some,
I suppose. And you'll give up this window cleaning job at once. It's
too dangerous. I can't afford to have the only man in the United
States who holds a good opinion of me risking his neck like that."
"Thankee kindly, Sir," says Cubbins, beamin' grateful. "And we'll see
w'at Jimmy 'as to s'y to that, so we will!"
"Report that in full," says Old Hickory. "And, Mr. Piddie, see that
Mr. Cubbins' name goes on the payroll from today. But, by the way,
where is your distinguished friend, the scientific investigator?"
"Why--er--why----" says Piddie, flushin' up and swallowin' hard, "Dr.
Bingstetter left a moment ago."
"Did, eh?" grunts Old Hickory. "He should have stayed awhile and
allowed Torchy to give him a few pointers on evolving things from
primal facts."
"Ye-e-e-es, Sir," says Piddie, his face all tinted up lovely.
Which winds up, as you might say, the Mystery of the Fifth Bouquet.
But, believe me, there ain't any tamer party around the shop these days
than this same J. Hemmingway Piddie. And if the old habits get to
croppin' out any time, all I got to do is shut one eye, put my finger
to my lips, and whisper easy, "Ah, go tell that to Doc Bungstarter!"
That gets him behavin'.
And Cubbins, why--he's blossomed out in a new fall suit, and he stops
at the desk every few days to tell me how he put it all over Jimmy the
night before. So that was some stroke, what?
CHAPTER III
WHEN IRA SHOWED SOME PEP
It was good domework of Mr. Robert's to tip me off about this Higgins
party, or there's no knowin' how hard a time he might have had gettin'
through the brass gate. As it is, the minute I spots the watch chain
and the round cuffs and the neck freckles, I sizes him up as the
expected delegate from the fresh mackerel and blueberry pie district.
One of these long, lanky specimens, he is, with a little stoop to his
shoulders, ginger-colored hair and mustache, and a pair of calm,
sea-blue eyes that look deep and serious.
I finds him pacin' deliberate up and down the waitin' room at
eight-fifty-three A.M., which is two minutes ahead of my schedule for
openin' the Corrugated for gen'ral business. His overcoat and a
crumpled mornin' paper are on the bench; so I figures he's been there
quite some time. Course, it might have been a stray Rube of most any
name; but I thinks I'll take a chance.
"Mornin', Ira," says I.
"Howdy," says he, as natural as if this was a reg'lar habit of ours.
Which puts it up to me to find out if I'm right, after all.
"Mr. Higgins, ain't it?" says I.
He nods.
"When did you get in?" says I.
"About six," says he.
"Come down by train or boat?" says I.
"Train," says he.
"You've had breakfast, I suppose?" I goes on.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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