Humorous stories; Love stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction
"Truly enterprising!" says Mr. Robert. "But you're going to be
disappointed. In just ten minutes I mean to escort you to the
sidewalk, and then wash my hands of you for good."
Bunny laughs. "Impossible!" says he. "In the first place, you
couldn't sleep tonight, if you did. Secondly, I should hunt you up
tomorrow and make a nuisance of myself."
"You'd be thrown out by a porter," says Mr. Robert.
"Perhaps," says he; "but it wouldn't look nice. I'd be in evening
clothes, you see. The crowd would know at once that I was a gentleman.
Reporters would come. I should tell a most harrowing tale. You'd deny
it, of course; but half the people would believe me. No, no, Bob!
Three hours ago, in my old rags, you might have kicked me into the
gutter, and no one would have made any fuss at all. But now! Why, it
would be absurd! I should make a mighty row over it."
"You threaten blackmail?" says Mr. Robert, leanin' towards him savage.
"That is one of my more reputable accomplishments," says Bunny. "But
why force me to that? I have quite a reasonable proposal to submit."
"If it has anything to do with getting you so far away from New York
that you'll never come back, I'll listen to it," says Mr. Robert.
"You state the case exactly," says Bunny. "In Paris I got to know a
chap by the name of Dick Langdon; English, you know, and a younger son.
His uncle's a Sir Something or Other. Dick was going the pace. He'd
annexed some funds that he'd found lying around loose. Purely a family
affair; no prosecution. A nice youth, Langdon. We were quite
congenial.
"A year or so ago I ran across him again, down in Santa Marta. He was
wearing a sun helmet and a white linen suit. He said he'd been shipped
down there as superintendent of a banana plantation about twenty miles
back from the port. He had half a hundred blacks and as many East
Indian coolies under him. There was no one else within miles. Once a
month he got down to see the steamer load and watch the white faces
hungrily. I was only a cabin steward leaning over the rail; but he was
so tickled to see me that he begged me to quit and go back to the
plantation with him. He said he'd make me assistant superintendent, or
permanent guest, or anything. But I was crazy to see New York once
more. I wouldn't listen. Well, I've seen New York, seen enough of it
to last a lifetime. What do you say?"
"When could you get a steamer?" asks Mr. Robert.
"The Arapequa sails at ten in the morning," says Bunny eager. "Fare
forty-eight dollars one way. I could go aboard now. Dick would hail
me as a man and a brother. I'm his kind. He'd see that I never had
money enough to get away. I think I might possibly earn my keep
bossing coolies too. And the pulque down there helps you to forget
your troubles."
"Torchy," says Mr. Robert, "ask Barney to call a cab."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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