But it proved to be more than six _days_ later before the ship reached
Flimbot. This was owing to certain mechanical difficulties that arose
when the crew tried to lift the mother ship from the third planet, on
which it was based. For sentimental reasons, the IEE(E) always tried to
establish its prime base on the third planet of a system. Anyhow, when
the _Herringbone_ was on the point of takeoff, it was discovered that
the rock-eating species which was the only life on the third planet had
eaten all the projecting metal parts on the ship, including the
rocket-exhaust tubes, the airlock handles and the chromium trim.
"I had been wondering what made the little fellows so sick," Smullyan,
the ship's doctor, said. "They went wump, wump, wump all night long,
until my heart bled for them. Ah, everywhere it goes, humanity spreads
the fell seeds of death and destruction--"
"Are you a doctor or a veterinarian?" Iversen demanded furiously. "By
Betelgeuse, you act as if I'd crammed those blasted tubes down their
stinking little throats!"
"It was you who invaded their paradise with your ship. It was you--"
"Shut up!" Iversen yelled. "Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!"
So Dr. Smullyan went off, like many a ship's physician before him, and
got good and drunk on the medical stores.
* * * * *
By the time they finally arrived on Flimbot, Harkaway had already gone
native. He appeared at the airlock wearing nothing but a brief, colorful
loincloth of alien fabric and a wreath of flowers in his hair. He was
fondling a large, woolly pink caterpillar.
[Illustration]
"Where is your uniform, sir!" Captain Iversen barked, aghast. If there
was one thing he was intolerant of in his command, it was sloppiness.
"This is the undress uniform of the Royal Flimbotzi Navy, sir. I was
given the privilege of wearing one as a great _msu'gri_--honor--to our
race. If I were to return to my own uniform, it might set back
diplomatic relations between Flimbot and Earth as much as--"
"All right!" the captain snapped. "All right, all right, all right!"
He didn't ask any questions about the Royal Flimbotzi Navy. He had
deduced its nature when, on nearing Flimbot, he had discovered that the
eleventh planet actually had only one moon. The other forty-five
celestial objects were spacecraft, quaint and primitive, it was true,
but spacecraft nonetheless. Probably it was their orbital formation that
had made him think they were moons. Oh, the crew must be in great
spirits; they did so enjoy having a good laugh at his expense!
He looked for something with which to reproach Harkaway, and his eye
lighted on the caterpillar. "What's that thing you're carrying there?"
he barked.
Raising itself on its tail, the caterpillar barked right back at him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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