"This," I said to her, "is practically the only subject on which I am not an expert. At the same time I have a distinct feeling for silk stockings. If you can hurry me past all the embarrassing counters safely, and arrange for the lady behind the right one to show me the right line in silken hose, I will undertake to pick out half a dozen pairs that would melt any sister's heart." Well, the affair went off perfectly. Celia took the matter into her own hands and behaved just as if I were buying them for _her_. The shop-assistant also behaved as if I were. Fortunately I kept my head when it came to giving the name and address. "No," I said firmly to Celia. "Not yours; my sister's." And I dragged her away to tea. Now whether it was because Celia had particularly enjoyed her afternoon; or because she felt that a man who was as ignorant as I about silk stockings must lead a very lonely life; or because I had mentioned casually and erroneously that it was my own birthday that week, I cannot say; but on the following morning I received a little box, with a note on the outside which said in her handwriting, "Something for you. Be kind to him." And I opened it and found Sidney. He was a Japanese dwarf-tree--the merest boy. At eighty or ninety, according to the photographs, he would be a stalwart fellow with thick bark on his trunk, and fir-cones or acorns (or whatever was his speciality) hanging all over him. Just at present he was barely ten. I had only eighty years to wait before he reached his prime. Naturally I decided to lavish all my care upon his upbringing. I would water him after breakfast every morning, and (when I remembered it) at night. If there was any top-dressing he particularly fancied, he should have it. If he had any dead leaves to snip off, I would snip them. It was at this moment that I discovered something else in the box--a card of instructions. I have not got it now, and I have forgotten the actual wording, but the spirit of it was this: HINTS ON THE PROPER REARING AND BRINGING-UP OF A JAPANESE DWARF-TREE The life of this tree is a precarious one, and if it is to be successfully brought to manhood the following rules must be carefully observed-- I. This tree requires, above all else, fresh air and exercise. II. Whenever the sun is shining, the tree should be placed outside, in a position where it can absorb the rays. III. Whenever the rain is raining, it should be placed outside, in a position where it can absorb the wet. IV. It should be taken out for a trot at least once every day. V. It simply loathes artificial light and artificial heat. If you keep it in your drawing-room, see that it is situated as far as possible from the chandelier and the gas-stove. VI. It also detests noise. Do not place it on the top of the pianola. VII. It loves moonlight. Leave it outside when you go to bed, in case the moon should come out.