Well, I suppose one can't. But somehow I had expected to be spared all this bother. I think my idea was that Celia would say to me suddenly one evening, "By the way, Ronald, don't forget we're being married to-morrow," and I should have said "Where?" And on being told the time and place, I should have turned up pretty punctually; and after my best man had told me where to stand, and the clergyman had told me what to say, and my solicitor had told me where to sign my name, we should have driven from the church a happy married couple ... and in the carriage Celia would have told me where we were spending the honeymoon. However, it was not to be so. "All right, the eleventh," I said. "Any particular month?" "No," smiled Celia, "just any month. Or, if you like, every month." "The eleventh of June," I surmised. "It is probably the one day in the year on which my Uncle Thomas cannot come. But no matter. The eleventh let it be." "Then that's settled. And at St. Miriam's?" For some reason Celia has set her heart on St. Miriam's. Personally I have no feeling about it. St. Andrew's-by-the-Wardrobe or St. Bartholomew's-Without would suit me equally well. "All right," I said, "St. Miriam's." There, you might suppose, the matter would have ended; but no. "Then you will see about it to-morrow?" said Celia persuasively. I was appalled at the idea. "Surely," I said, "this is for you, or your father, or--or somebody to arrange." "Of _course_ it's for the bridegroom," protested Celia. "In theory, perhaps. But anyhow not the bridegroom personally. His best man ... or his solicitor ... or ... I mean, you're not suggesting that I myself---- Oh, well, if you insist. Still, I must say I don't see what's the good of having a best man _and_ a solicitor if---- Oh, all right, Celia, I'll go to-morrow." So I went. For half an hour I padded round St. Miriam's nervously, and then summoning up all my courage, I knocked my pipe out and entered. "I want," I said jauntily to a sexton or a sacristan or something--"I want--er--a wedding." And I added, "For two." He didn't seem as nervous as I was. He enquired quite calmly when I wanted it. "The eleventh of June," I said. "It's probably the one day in the year on which my Uncle Thomas---- However, that wouldn't interest you. The point is that it's the eleventh." The clerk consulted his wedding-book. Then he made the surprising announcement that the only day he could offer me in June was the seventeenth. I was amazed. "I am a very old customer," I said reproachfully. "I mean, I have often been to your church in my time. Surely----" "We've weddings fixed on all the other days." "Yes, yes, but you could persuade somebody to change his day, couldn't you? Or if he is very much set on being married on the eleventh you might recommend some other church to him. I daresay you know of some good ones. You see, Celia--my--that is, we're particularly keen, for some reason, on St. Miriam's."