"My dear child," I remonstrated, "the whole thing is being got up not for ourselves, but for our guests. We shall be much too preoccupied to appreciate any of the good things we provide--the texture of the red carpet or the quality of the singing. I dreamt last night that I quite forgot about the wedding-ring till 1.30 on the actual day, and the only cab I could find to take me to a jeweller's was drawn by a camel. Of course, it may not turn out to be as bad as that, but it will certainly be an anxious afternoon for both of us. And so we must consider the entertainment entirely from the point of view of our guests. Whether their craving is for champagne or bells, it must be satisfied." "I'm sure they'll be better without bells. Because when the policemen call out 'Mr. Spifkins' carriage,' Mr. Spifkins mightn't hear if there were a lot of bells clashing about." "Very well, no bells. But, mind you," I said sternly, "I shall insist on a clergyman." We went through the rest of the _menu_, course by course. "I know what I shall do," I said at last. "I shall call on my friend the Clerk again, and I shall speak to him quite frankly. I shall say, 'Here is a cheque for a thousand pounds. It is all I can afford--and, by the way, you'd better pay it in quickly or it will be dishonoured. Can you do us up a nice wedding for a thousand inclusive?'" "Like the Christmas hampers at the stores." "Exactly. A dozen boys' voices, a half-dozen of bells, ten yards of awning, and twenty-four oranges, or vergers, or whatever it is. We ought to get a nice parcel for a thousand pounds." "Or," said Celia, "we might send the list round to our friends as suggestions for wedding presents. I'm sure Jane would love to give us a couple of policemen." "We'd much better leave the whole thing to your father. I incline more and more to the opinion that it is _his_ business to provide the wedding. I must ask my solicitor about it." "He's providing the bride." "Yes, but I think he might go further. I can't help feeling that the bells would come very well from him. 'Bride's father to bridegroom--A peal of bells.' People would think it was something in silver for the hall. It would do him a lot of good in business circles." "And that reminds me," smiled Celia, "there's been some talk about a present from Miss Popley."