“Theer's not a mon i' Arle as isna more to me now than tha art,” she
said, “Some on 'em be honest, an' I conna say that o' thee. Tha canst
get thee gone or I'll go mysen. Tha knows't me well enow to know I'll
ne'er forgie thee for what tha's done. Aye”--with the passionate
hand-wringing again--“but that wunnot undo it.”
He rose and came to her, trembling like a man with the ague.
“Yo' dunnot mean that theer, Meg,” he said slowly. “You dunnot mean it
word fur word. Think a bit.”
“Aye, but I do,” she answered him, setting her white teeth, “word fur
word.”
“Think again, wench.” And this time he staggered and caught hold of the
door-post. “Is theer nowt as'll go agen th' wrong? I've lived wi'thee
nigh a year, an' I've loved thee twenty--is theer nowt fur me? Aye,
lass, dunnot be too hard. Tha was allus harder than most womankind; try
an' be a bit softer like to'rds th' mon as risked his soul because he
wur a mon an' darena lose thee. Tha laid thy head on my shoulder last
neet. Aye, lass--lass, think o' that fur one minnit.”
Perhaps she did think of it, for surely she faltered a little--what
woman would not have faltered at such a moment?--but the next, the
memory of the sunny, half-boyish face she had clung to with so strong
a love rushed back upon her and struck her to the heart. She remembered
the days when her life had seemed so full that she had feared her own
bliss; she remembered the gallant speeches and light-hearted wiles, and
all at once she cried out in a fierce, impassioned voice: “I'll ne'er
forgie thee,” she said--“I'll ne'er forgie thee to th' last day o' my
life. What fur should I? Tha's broke my heart, thou villain--tha's broke
my heart.” And the next minute she had pushed past him and rushed into
the house.
For a minute or so after she was gone the man stood leaning against the
door with a dazed look in his pale face. She meant what she said: he
had known her long enough to understand that she never forgave--never
forgot. Her unbroken will and stubborn strength had held her to enmities
all her life, and he knew she was not to be won by such things as won
other women. He knew she was harder than most women, but his dull nature
could not teach him how bitter must have been the life that rendered her
so. He had never thought of it--he did not think of it now. He was not
blaming her, and he was scarcely blaming himself. He had tried to make
her happy and had failed. There were two causes for the heavy passion of
misery that was ruling him, but neither of them was remorse.
His treachery had betrayed him, and he had lost the woman he had loved
and worked for. Soul and body were sluggish alike, but each had its dull
pang of weight and wretchedness.
“I've come to th' eend now surely,” he said, and, dropping into her
seat, he hid his face.
As he sat there a choking lump rose in his throat with a sudden click,
and in a minute or so more he was wiping away hot rolling tears with the
back of his rough hand.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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