His whimsicalities are illustrated in the cathedral more than anywhere
else and among them is the "Schomberg epitaph," found in the north aisle
to the left of the choir, chiseled in large letters upon a slab of
marble. Duke Schomberg, who commanded the Protestant army of King
William of Orange at the Battle of the Boyne, and was killed toward the
end of that engagement, July, 1690, was buried in St. Patrick's at the
time of his death, but his grave remained unmarked. His bones were
discovered, however, in 1736, during some repairs, while Swift was dean
of the cathedral. In order that their ancestor's character and
achievements might be properly recognized and called to the attention of
posterity, Swift applied to the head of the Schomberg family for fifty
pounds to pay the expense of a memorial, which they declined to
contribute. Then Swift, whose indignation was excited, paid for the slab
himself and punished them by recording upon it in Latin that the
cathedral authorities, having entreated to no purpose the heirs of the
great marshal to set up an appropriate memorial, this tablet had been
erected that posterity might know where the great Schomberg lies.
"The fame of his valor," he adds, "is much more appreciated by strangers
than by his kinsmen."
Upon the other farther side of the church, between the tombs of the
Right Honorable Lady Elizabeth, Viscountess Donneraile, and Archbishop
Whately, the gentleman who wrote the rhetoric we studied at college, is
buried the body of an humble Irishman, who was Dean Swift's body servant
for a generation. He was eccentric but loyal, and as witty as his
master. One morning the dean, getting ready for a horseback ride,
discovered that his boots had not been cleaned, and called to Sandy:
"Why didn't you clean these boots?"
"It hardly pays to do so, sir," responded Sandy, "they get muddy so soon
again."
"Put on your hat and coat and come with me to ride," said the dean.
"I haven't had my breakfast," said Sandy.
"There's no use in eating; you'll be hungry so soon again," retorted the
dean, and Sandy had to follow him in a mad gallop into the suburbs of
Dublin without a mouthful.
When they were three or four miles away they met an old friend who asked
them where they were going so early. Before the dean could answer, Sandy
replied:
"We're going to heaven, sir; the dean's praying and meself is fasting;
both of us for our sins."
The epitaph of Sandy in St. Patrick's Cathedral reads as follows:
HERE LIES THE BODY OF
ALEXANDER MAGEE,
SERVANT TO DR. SWIFT, DEAN
OF ST. PATRICK'S CATHEDRAL,
DUBLIN.
His Grateful Master Caused This Monument to Be Erected in Memory
of His Discretion, Fidelity and Diligence in That Humble Station.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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