Adultery -- Fiction; Divorced women -- Fiction; Husband and wife -- Fiction; Triangles (Interpersonal relations) -- Fiction
and not that she had any expectation of hearing good news, Mamie went
into Mr. Passmore's office, and sat down.
And she did not hear any. After an hour she went away, and rested next
in the anteroom of another of the agents, who repeated that "things
were very quiet," and that "he wouldn't forget her." Seven or eight
other girls were waiting their turn to be told the same thing. At a
quarter to three she went back to the Queen's.
"Is he coming out now?" she said. "Am I too soon?"
"Eh?" said the stage-door keeper.
"You told me he'd be out about three. I was asking for Mr. Casey this
morning."
"Oh, were you?" he said. "There's been a good many asking for him since
then." He gradually recalled her. "Mr. Casey's gone," he added; "they
finished early. He won't be here till to-night."
There was a week in which she went to the stage-door of the Queen's
Theatre every day, at all hours, and at last she learnt casually
that as many extra ladies as were required for the production had
been engaged. There were months during which she persisted in her
applications at other stage-doors and hope flickered within her still.
But when September came, and a year had passed since her arrival, the
expiring spark had faded into lassitude. She tried no longer. Only
sometimes, out of the sickness of her soul, the impulse to write was
born, and she picked up a pen.
Then it was definitely decided that she should return to America.
It was characteristic of her that she had no sooner dried her eyes
after the decision than she was restless to return at once; Duluth
was no drearier than Wandsworth. Externally it was even picturesque,
with the blue water and the sunshine, and the streets of white houses
rising in tiers like a theatre; in Duluth the residents "looked down
on one another" literally. The life was appalling, but when all was
said, was it more limited than Aunt Lydia? And if, in lieu of acting,
she dared aspire to dramatic authorship--the thought stirred her
occasionally--she could work as well in Minnesota as in Middlesex.
Cheriton had remitted the amount of her passage, and suggested that she
should sail in a week or two. She had not received the draft two hours
when she went up to town and booked a berth in the next steamer.
When it was done, she posted a note to Heriot, acquainting him with her
intention. His visits had not been discontinued, but he came at much
longer intervals latterly, and she could not go without bidding him
good-bye.
She sat in the Lavender Street parlour the next evening, wondering if
he would come. Almost she hoped that he would not. She had written,
and therefore done her duty. To see him would, in the circumstances,
humiliate her cruelly, she felt. She remembered how she had talked to
him twelve months before--recalled her confidence, her pictures of a
future that she was never to know, and her eyes smarted afresh. She had
even failed to obtain a hearing. "What a fool, what an idiot I look!"
she thought passionately.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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