The salute he had so daringly given Lady Loftus was to me a keen source
of jealous anger and annoyance, which I could neither readily forgive
nor forget, and had the old duelling fashion still been extant, the
penalty might have proved a dear one. I had the bitter consciousness
that she whose hand I had barely ventured to touch with a lip that
trembled with suppressed emotion had been brusquely saluted—-actually
kissed before my face—by one for whom I had rather more, if possible,
than a profound contempt.
What she thought of the episode I know not. A horror of what all
well-bred people deem a scene no doubt prevailed, for she took her
mother’s arm, and passed away, while Cora and I followed them.
Jealousy suggested that much must have passed between them prior to my
arrival, otherwise Berkeley, with all his assurance, dared not have
acted as he did. This supposition was to me a source of real torture
and mortification.
"When love steals into the nature," says a writer, "day by day
infiltrating its sentiments, as it were, through every crevice of the
being, it will enlist every selfish trait into the service, so that he
who loves is half enamoured of himself; but where the passion comes with
the overwhelming force of a sudden conviction, when the whole heart is
captivated at once, self is forgotten, and the image of the loved one is
all that presents itself."
Sleepless that night I lay, tormenting myself with the "trifles light as
air," that to young men in my condition are "confirmations strong as
proofs of Holy Writ."
At last I slept; but my dreams—those visions that come before the
sleeping mind and eye towards the hours of morning—were not of her I
loved, but of my pretty and playful cousin, fair-skinned and dark-haired
Cora Calderwood.
*CHAPTER VII.*
What though our love was never told,
Or breathed in sighs alone;
By sighs that would not be controlled
Its growing strength was shown.
The touch that thrilled us with delight,
The glance, by heart untamed,
In one short moon, as brief as bright,
That tender truth proclaimed.
ALARIC WATTS.
Next morning I resolved that, if possible, it should not pass without
some attempt being made to discover the state of Lady Louisa’s heart—how
she was affected towards me, and whether I had any chance, however
remote, of reviving or securing the interest I trusted she had in me
when last we met in England. But over night the snow had fallen
heavily; it was six inches deep on the lawn, as Willie Pitblado told me.
The Lomonds were clothed in ghastly white to their summits, and as we
seemed fated to be caged up in doors all day, my chances of seeing
Louisa alone would be remote indeed.
In the library and drawing-rooms I found all the guests of last night
assembled, save the minister, doctor, and lawyer, who had ridden home,
and save her I sought.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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