Only a Girl: or, A Physician for the Soul.Hillern, Wilhelmine von
General
Only a Girl: or, A Physician for the Soul.
Hillern, Wilhelmine von
German fiction -- Translations into English
Ernestine's gaze was fixed darkly on the ground. "I know nothing of
love. How can I long for what I know nothing of?"
"Good heavens! how can that be? Have you had no parents,
relatives,--friends who were dear to you?"
"No! my mother died at my birth, and my father--who treated me very
harshly, and did not care for me--died when I was twelve years old. My
guardian became my teacher and guide, and initiated me into the pursuit
of science. At no time of my life have I had any intercourse with my
equals. I did not wish for it. My uncle sent his own little daughter to
a boarding-school and lived for me alone, but the tie that bound me to
him was only my interest in science and his readiness to gratify it. He
is cold by nature,--as I am also. I have never felt anything for him
but gratitude. I have always lived alone, and have never loved a human
being."
Johannes was deeply moved. "Poor girl!" he said. "Had you cast yourself
on the ground at my feet, bathed in tears, bewailing the death of
father, mother, or husband, you could not have inspired me with such
pity as those words, 'I have never loved,' awaken within me. You look
amazed! The time will come when you will understand me,--when by the
depth of your anguish you will learn the heights of bliss from which
you have been banished; then he, whom you now regard as your enemy,
will be beside you,--to soothe your grief for your lost life,--perhaps
to lead you to one nobler and better!"
Ernestine turned away, greatly agitated. She would not have Johannes
observe her emotion, and therefore only breathed a gentle "Farewell,"
and would have left the room.
"Are you going? Have I offended you? May I not come again?" he asked.
Ernestine stood still, and did not speak.
"May I not?" he repeated,--and there was such urgent entreaty in his
voice that it stirred the very depths of Ernestine's soul.
There was one moment of hesitation; then she returned to him, held out
her hand and said, with eyes swimming in tears,--eyes that pierced his
heart to the core:
"Yes; come again."
"God bless you!" he said, with a long sigh of relief, and then, kissing
her hand respectfully, he left the room. She stood still where he had
left her, lost in thought.
The tones of the Æolian harp floated out upon the air, the roses
exhaled fresh fragrance, the birds twittered, and the sunlight shone in
soft rays through the blue curtains. She heeded none of these things,
she stood there absorbed in the pursuit of some dim, half-remembered
image in the distant past--even in the days of her childhood.
Why was it that the oak boughs, whither she had fled from the handsome
lad, seemed to rustle around her again? Why was the little Angelika so
distinct in her memory,--the little girl rocking in her arms the doll
that her brother had sent her, in the sure hope that her tenderness
would inspire it with life?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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