Only a Girl: or, A Physician for the Soul.Hillern, Wilhelmine von
General
Only a Girl: or, A Physician for the Soul.
Hillern, Wilhelmine von
German fiction -- Translations into English
"Möllner!" she said, and her voice was deep and rich, and her soft,
gentle touch sought his hand, while her dark, glowing eyes were fixed
upon him in an agony of suspense. Thus the beautiful majestic woman
knelt there, expiating in the torment of that moment her sin in not
keeping herself pure for this long-delayed love, looking up to him as
to a redeemer, ready to sacrifice for his sake herself and a life of
worldly enjoyment,--for him, the simple student, unadorned by any of
the studied graces that distinguished the men that had hitherto crowded
around her, and unconscious of having ever sought her love. Could this
woman, used only to ask and to have, love him thus, and she, the only
one who could ever be to him what his whole soul thirsted for,--she for
whom he would only too willingly have sacrificed his life, resign him
for an illusion, a chimera, that could never give her one moment's joy?
He grew giddy,--he drew his hands from the countess's grasp, and sprang
up. She bowed her head upon the lounge that he had just left, and hid
her face in her arms, as if awaiting the death-stroke from the sword of
the executioner. Now, when she knelt thus in the abandonment of her
grief, for the first time he perceived her wonderful loveliness,--but
only for one moment,--the next, he turned from her and threw open a
shutter, admitting the broad day to chase away the bewildering twilight
that filled the room. A cool breeze had arisen,--he inhaled it
thirstily, and, when he turned again to the countess, he was calm.
Reflection, so native to him, had conquered his agitation, and by his
sufferings for Ernestine's sake he knew how to pity this woman who
loved so hopelessly. It was the purest compassion that beamed in his
eyes as he raised her head, but again his glance had upon her the
effect of magic.
"Oh, not that look, Möllner! Do not look thus while you sentence me! it
makes my doom doubly hard to bear. If you cannot tell me that you love
me, turn those eyes away,--their glance would wake the dead!"
"Good heavens! Countess Worronska, how can I find the right words in
which to tell you what I must, if you so increase the labour of the
task? I pray you, dear friend, listen to me calmly, and think what you
impose upon me,--either I must play the hypocrite, or give the worst
offence that can befall a woman."
The countess sprang up, and measured him with a look in which pain and
anger strove for the mastery. He took her hands and gently forced her
to sit down upon the sofa,--she yielded to him mechanically.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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