Only a Girl: or, A Physician for the Soul.Hillern, Wilhelmine von
General
Only a Girl: or, A Physician for the Soul.
Hillern, Wilhelmine von
German fiction -- Translations into English
if upon swan's pinions the promise of a fair future hovered above her
from the page that she was reading. "Shall I ever be such a swan?" she
asked again and again. Her heart overflowed with new emotions of joy
and pain, she covered her eyes with her thin hands and sobbed as if she
would, as the saying is, "cry her soul out." Then her father awoke, and
called out, "Who is there?" Ernestine hastened to him and fell on her
knees at his bedside. She seized his hand and would have kissed it; he
snatched it angrily away, but the tears that she had shed had melted
her very heart. "Father, dear father!" she cried, "I have been very
naughty and self-willed. Forgive, and love me only a little, and I will
love you dearly!"
Hartwich turned his face to the wall, and growled, "Why did you wake
me? Where's the use of slipping in here at this hour? Do you think I
had rather listen to your stupid whining than sleep?"
"Father," cried Ernestine, taking his lame hand that he could not
withdraw from her. "Father, do not send me away from you. I will be
good,--help me to be so. I cannot be good if you are always harsh to
me. I saw to-day how all the children have parents who love them. I
only am disliked by every one, and yet I have a heart too, and would
love to see kind looks and hear kind words. I will not cry ever any
more, if you will not make me cry, and I will try my best to be just
like a boy, that you may not be sorry any more that I am a girl. Ah,
father, it seems to-day as if the dear God in heaven had told me what I
long for. Love, father, love,--ah, give me some, and take pity upon
your poor ugly child!"
The invalid had turned towards the child again, and was staring at her
in amazement, with lack-lustre eyes; it seemed as if some unbidden
feeling were struggling for utterance from the depths of his moral and
physical degradation; his breath came quick, he tried to speak.
Ernestine did not venture to look at him; a strong odour of brandy told
her that her father's face was near her own, but this odour was so
utterly disgusting to her that she involuntarily recoiled, and thus
avoided the lips that would perhaps have bestowed upon her the first
kiss that she had ever in her life received from them. The invalid must
have known this, for he turned away again, muttering something
unintelligible. After a long pause, he felt for a tumbler that stood on
a table beside his bed, but it was empty. "I'm thirsty!" he said
peevishly. "Shall I bring you some water, father?" asked Ernestine. The
sick man made a gesture of disgust "No! but you can go up to your uncle
and tell him to send me that medicine that he spoke of; he will know
what I want. But ask him only,--do you hear?--him only. And tell no one
that I sent you, or you shall suffer for it, I promise you. And now go
quickly: I'm tortured with thirst!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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