Only a Girl: or, A Physician for the Soul.Hillern, Wilhelmine von
General
Only a Girl: or, A Physician for the Soul.
Hillern, Wilhelmine von
German fiction -- Translations into English
"You are a downright fiend, that no man, made of flesh and blood, could
possibly love! You always were so from a child: how you tormented my
poor mother! You know nothing of human feeling. In the warmest weather
your hands are always damp and cold, and your heart, too, is never
warm. I am cross and irritable, but I am not as utterly heartless as
you are, God forbid! You are one of those beings at discord with all
natural laws, who cast no shadow in the sunshine." The sick man closed
his eyes, exhausted, and large drops of moisture stood upon his brow.
His brother took a handkerchief and carefully wiped them away. "Only
see how you excite yourself, and all for nothing!" he said in the
gentlest, kindliest voice. "Because I have no sympathy with fictitious
sentiment and exaggerated outbursts, you call me unfeeling. Because I
am quiet by nature, not easily aroused, you picture me in your feverish
dreams as a vampire. I will leave you now, or I shall excite you. Lay
to heart what I have said about the child; for if the present course is
persevered in, it will bring disgrace upon us, and that would be to me
unendurable!"
Hartwich made no reply; he had turned his face to the wall, and did not
look around until his brother had noiselessly left the room.
During this conversation little Ernestine had allowed her dress to be
put on. When this was done, the housekeeper left the room, and the
child busied herself with lacing upon her feet an old pair of boots
that were really too small for her.
"That's right, Ernestine," one of the maid-servants whispered. "Frau
Gedike is a bad woman: none of us can bear her--it is good for her to
be vexed, and we are glad of it!"
"I do not want to vex her, but I hate her--and my father, too--he is
cruel to me," said the child, with the bitterness with which a
defenceless human being, when ill used, seeks to revenge itself.
"Indeed he is a dreadful father," Rieka, the elder of the maids,
whispered softly to her companion, but Ernestine heard all that she
said perfectly well. "He always wanted a son, and talked forever of
what he would do for his boy when he had one. And when the child was
born, and was not a boy after all, he was quite beside himself, and
cried furiously, 'Only a girl! only a girl!' and rushed out of the
house, banging the door after him so that the whole house shook. The
young mother--she was a delicate lady--fell into convulsions with
sorrow and fright, and took the fever, and died on the third day. Then
he was sorry enough, and raved and tore his hair over the corpse, but
he could not bring her to life again. He has been well punished since
he had his stroke, and perhaps it was to punish him that Ernestine has
grown so ugly; but he ought at least to show his repentance for what he
did, by kindness to the sickly little thing, instead of abusing her. It
isn't the child's fault that she's not a boy."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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