"Now you do both yourself and me wrong," Gregory eagerly replied. "I do
believe you are sincerely trying to obey your conscience. Did I not see
your look of sorrow as you passed me on the stairs?--when shall I
forget it! Remember words that must have been inspired, which you once
quoted to me--
"'Who by repentance is not satisfied
Is not of heaven nor earth,'
and pardon me when I tell you that I have been listening the last few
moments out in the hall. Your tones and manner would melt the heart of
an infidel, and they have made me wish that I were not so unbelieving.
Forgive me for even putting such thoughts in your mind--I feel it is
wicked and selfish in me to do it--but how do you know that your
prayer, though so direct and sincere, was not sound lost in space?"
"Because it has been answered," she replied, eagerly. "Peace came even
as I spoke the words. Because whenever I really pray to God he answers
me."
They now stood on opposite sides of the hearth, with the glowing fire
between them. In its light Annie's wet eyes glistened, but she had
forgotten herself in her sincere and newly awakened interest in him
whom she had secretly hoped and purposed before to lead to better
things. It had formed no small part of her keen self-reproach that she
had forgotten that purpose, and wished him out of the way, just as she
was beginning to gain a decided influence over him for good. After what
he had witnessed that afternoon she felt that he would never listen to
her again.
He would not had he detected the slightest tinge of acting or
insincerity on her part, but her penitence had been as real as her
passion.
She was glad and grateful indeed when he approached her again in the
spirit he now manifested.
As she stood there in the firelight, self-forgetful, conscious only of
her wish to say some words that would be like light to him, her large,
humid eyes turned up to his face, she made a picture that his mother
would like to see.
He leaned against the mantel and looked dejectedly into the fire. After
a moment he said, sadly, "I envy you, Miss Walton. I wish I could
believe in a personal God who thought about us and cared for us--that
is, each one of us. Of course I believe in a Supreme Being--a great
First Cause; but He hides Himself behind the stars; He is lost to me in
His vast universe. I think my prayers once had an effect on my own
mind, and so did me some good. But that's past, and now I might as well
pray to gravitation as to anything else."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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