Putting on a light overcoat, for the morning air was sharp and bracing,
Gregory soon found himself in the old square garden. Though its glory
was decidedly on the wane, it was as yet unnipped by the frost It had a
neatness and an order of its own that were quite unlike those where
nature is in entire subordination to art. Indeed it looked very much as
he remembered it in the past, and he welcomed its unchanged aspect. He
strolled to many other remembered boyish haunts, and it seemed that the
very lichens and mosses grew in the same places as of old, and that
nature had stood still and awaited his return.
And yet every familiar object chided him for being so changed, and he
began to find more of pain than pleasure as this contrast between what
he had been and what he might have been was constantly forced upon him.
"Oh that I had never left this place!" he exclaimed, bitterly: "It
would have been better to stay here and drudge as a day laborer. What
has that career out in the world to which I looked forward so ardently
amounted to? The present is disappointment and self-disgust, the future
an indefinite region of fears and forebodings, and even the happy past
is becoming a bitter mockery by reminding me of what can never be
again."
Wearied and despondent, he moodily returned to the house and threw
himself on a lounge in the parlor. A smouldering wood fire upon the
hearth softened the air to summer temperature. The heat was grateful to
his chilled, bloodless body, and gave him a luxurious sense of physical
comfort, and he muttered: "I had about resolved to leave this place
with its memories that are growing into torment, but I suppose it would
be the same anywhere else. I am too weak and ill to face new scenes and
discomfort. A little animal enjoyment and bodily respite from pain seem
about all that is left to me of existence, and I think I can find these
here better than elsewhere. If I am expected, however, to fall under
the management of the daughter of the house on the terms blurted out by
that fidgety nephew of hers, I will fly for my life. A plague on him!
His restlessness makes me nervous! If I could endure a child at all,
the blue-eyed little girl would make a pretty toy."
Sounds from the sitting-room behind the parlor now caught his
attention, and listening he soon became aware that Miss Walton was
teaching the children. "She has just the voice for a 'schoolmarm,'" he
thought--"quick, clear-cut, and decided."
If he had not given way to unreasonable prejudice he might also have
noted that there was nothing harsh or querulous in it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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