American fiction -- 19th century; California -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Short stories; Western stories
“It will be put to you, gentlemen, when the counsel on the other side
refrains from mere interruption and confines himself to reply, that my
unfortunate client has no action--no remedy at law--because there were
no spoken words of endearment. But, gentlemen, it will depend upon YOU
to say what are and what are not articulate expressions of love. We all
know that among the lower animals, with whom you may possibly be called
upon to classify the defendant, there are certain signals more or less
harmonious, as the case may be. The ass brays, the horse neighs, the
sheep bleats--the feathered denizens of the grove call to their mates
in more musical roundelays. These are recognized facts, gentlemen, which
you yourselves, as dwellers among nature in this beautiful land, are all
cognizant of. They are facts that no one would deny--and we should have
a poor opinion of the ass who, at--er--such a supreme moment,
would attempt to suggest that his call was unthinking and without
significance. But, gentlemen, I shall prove to you that such was the
foolish, self-convicting custom of the defendant. With the greatest
reluctance, and the--er--greatest pain, I succeeded in wresting from
the maidenly modesty of my fair client the innocent confession that
the defendant had induced her to correspond with him in these methods.
Picture to yourself, gentlemen, the lonely moonlight road beside the
widow's humble cottage. It is a beautiful night, sanctified to the
affections, and the innocent girl is leaning from her casement.
Presently there appears upon the road a slinking, stealthy figure, the
defendant on his way to church. True to the instruction she has received
from him, her lips part in the musical utterance” (the Colonel lowered
his voice in a faint falsetto, presumably in fond imitation of his
fair client), “'Keeree!' Instantly the night becomes resonant with the
impassioned reply” (the Colonel here lifted his voice in stentorian
tones), “'Kee-row.' Again, as he passes, rises the soft 'Keeree;' again,
as his form is lost in the distance, comes back the deep 'Keerow.'”
A burst of laughter, long, loud, and irrepressible, struck the whole
court-room, and before the Judge could lift his half-composed face
and take his handkerchief from his mouth, a faint “Keeree” from some
unrecognized obscurity of the court-room was followed by a loud “Keerow”
from some opposite locality. “The Sheriff will clear the court,” said
the Judge sternly; but, alas! as the embarrassed and choking officials
rushed hither and thither, a soft “Keeree” from the spectators at
the window, OUTSIDE the court-house, was answered by a loud chorus of
“Keerows” from the opposite windows, filled with onlookers. Again
the laughter arose everywhere,--even the fair plaintiff herself sat
convulsed behind her handkerchief.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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