Opus 21: Descriptive Music for the Lower Kinsey Epoch of the Atomic Age, a Concerto for a One-man Band, Six Arias for Soap Operas, Fugues, Anthems & BarrelhouseWylie, Philip
Philosophy
Opus 21: Descriptive Music for the Lower Kinsey Epoch of the Atomic Age, a Concerto for a One-man Band, Six Arias for Soap Operas, Fugues, Anthems & Barrelhouse
Wylie, Philip
Authors -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Patients -- Fiction; Philosophy -- Fiction
We talked of the news, of the airlift to Berlin which, by its very
existence, constituted an immense Appeasement. We discussed the
presidential candidates. We talked awhile of women's clothes, of the
veterans' organization currently holding a convention in the city, and
I described the house Ricky and I were building south of Miami, drawing
a diagram on the tablecloth with a knife.
The effort to keep talk going--to find topics and to change them before
attempt was disclosed--made me restive. Paul wasn't helping any. He'd
eaten hungrily enough and then sat back--jerking and fidgeting about,
making faces, pulling his nose, simpering, and smirking moonily.
She'd held up her end.
The trouble was, of course, that none of us was engaged in honest
behavior.
Paul wanted to say: What do you think of her--and us?
Paul wanted me to say: She's lovely--and I'm sure you'll be happy.
I had become doubly certain--without yet entirely appreciating
why--that it would never turn out. I had been generically sure, even
before--just as Ricky had been sure: Paul wasn't constructed to marry a
harlot and live happily ever after.
I wanted to say: For God's sake, cooky, send her back to her trade;
she'll find some other guy, eventually; she's not for you.
Then I wanted to go up sixteen floors to my apartment with my troubles,
my work, no women, no nephew.
What did the girl want to say?
I looked at her again--at her opalescent hair and her blue eyes.
And she looked back.
For a moment, the shadow stood still--stood still, and dissipated.
A wanton expression, brief and Lilith-like, reshaped the sharp, carmine
edges of her mouth. She saw me not as the uncle of her now-beloved,
but as the detached person--another man--and in this seeing me, she
involuntarily recalled her long affair with lust. I have heard a woman
say that, by merely quivering her underlip in a certain fashion, she
had been able to change the tone, attention, and interest of nine
men in ten with whom she'd ever talked--and there was nothing in her
history to make me doubt the statement. And I have heard another woman
say that all there was to Rudolph Valentino was the dilation of his
nostrils. Watching Marcia's mouth, I could understand the sense of
such matters.
So I was sure of still another thing.
Hattie Blaine had been dubious of her. Hattie had made the
suggestion--the to me profoundly immoral suggestion--of tempting this
girl.
Hattie had done it out of an unconscious notion that Marcia had some
point in her nature which could not be lent to the kind of marriage
Paul would need.
It wasn't money.
It was mood.
Marcia caught me making this observation. She blushed a little, glanced
at the table, and then raised her eyes--but whether anxiously or in a
repetition of the look, I could not tell.
Passionate women are seldom ashamed of their passion.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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