OrientationsMaugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset)
General
Orientations
Maugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset)
Fiction; Short stories, English
'I dare say they're artistic,' he said, in answer to his wife's
argument, 'but a man in my position don't want art--he wants
substantiality. If the governor'--the governor was the senior partner of
the firm--'if the governor was going to take a 'ouse I'd 'ave nothing to
say against it, but in my position art's not necessary.'
'Quite right, James,' said his mother-in-law; 'I 'old with what you say
entirely.'
Even in his early youth Mr Clinton had a fine sense of the
responsibility of life, and a truly English feeling for the fitness of
things.
So the Clintons took one of the twenty-three similar houses on the
left-hand side of the street, and there lived in peaceful happiness. But
Mr Clinton always pointed the finger of scorn at the houses opposite,
and he never rubbed the back of his hands so heartily as when he could
point out to his wife that such-and-such a number was having its roof
repaired; and when the builder went bankrupt, he cut out the notice in
the paper and sent it to his spouse anonymously....
At the beginning of August, Mr Clinton was accustomed, with his wife and
family, to desert the sultry populousness of London for the solitude and
sea air of Ramsgate. He read the _Daily Telegraph_ by the sad sea waves,
and made castles in the sand with his children. Then he changed his
pepper-and-salt trousers for white flannel, but nothing on earth would
induce him to forsake his top hat. He entirely agreed with the heroes of
England's proudest epoch--of course I mean the middle Victorian--that
the top hat was the sign-manual, the mark, the distinction of the true
Englishman, the completest expression of England's greatness. Mr Clinton
despised all foreigners, and although he would never have ventured to
think of himself in the same breath with an English lord, he felt
himself the superior of any foreign nobleman.
'I dare say they're all right in their way, but with these foreigners
you don't feel they're gentlemen. I don't know what it is, but there's
something, you understand, don't you? And I do like a man to be a
gentleman. I thank God I'm an Englishman!'
IV
Now, it chanced one day that the senior partner of the firm was summoned
to serve on a jury at a coroner's inquest, and Mr Clinton, furnished
with the excuse that Mr Haynes was out of town, was told to go in his
stead. Mr Clinton had never performed that part of a citizen's duties,
for on becoming a householder he had hit upon the expedient of being
summoned for his rates, so that his name should be struck off the
coroner's list; he was very indifferent to the implied dishonour. It was
with some curiosity, therefore, that he repaired to the court on the
morning of the inquest.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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