"You see, sir, we do sometimes have cases on hand as makes a feller quite savage; and then people as looks on will make it ten times wuss for the pleeceman by siding with them as is took. Here we gets kicked and butted, knocked down and trod upon; clothes tore, hats once, 'elmets now, crushed; hair pulled out by the roots, and all sorts o' nice delicate attentions o' that sort, which naterally puts a feller out, and makes him cut up rough; then the crowd round cries out `shame,' or, `oh, poor feller,' or what not, and makes the poor feller as has half killed a couple o' pleecemen wuss than he was afore. Pleecemen oughter to keep their tempers says the papers, arter what they calls a `police outrage,' jest as if the force was recruited out of all that's amiable. _We_ ain't angels, sir, not a bit of it; and it's a wonder we don't get more outer temper than we does. Jest you go to take a chap inter custody and adwise him to come quietly; and then offer to take him all decent and orderly. Jest you go and do that, and let him turn round and give you a spank in the mouth, as cuts yer lip open and knocks a tooth loose--jest see how angelified you'll feel then; and try what a job it is not to pull yer staff out and half knock his blessed head off. Why, if Lord Shaftesbury hisself had on the bracelet that night I know he'd give my gentleman one or two ugly twists. Wun knows wun oughter keep cool, but yer see a feller ain't made o' cast iron, which would be a blessin' to some of our fellers' legs--being a hard material. After taking a rough sometimes I've seen our chaps with legs black, blue, and bleeding with kicks, while 'ceptin' a little touzlin' and sech, the prisoner hasn't had a spot on him. Yes, it's all werry fine, `Keep yer temper,'--`Don't be put out,'--`Take it all coolly,'--be pitched outer winder and then `come up smilin',' as _Bell's Life_ says. Get kicked in the stummick, and then make a bow; but that you'd be sure to do, for you'd get reg'larly doubled up. Never mind havin' yer whiskers pulled, and bein' skretched a bit, it's all included in yer eighteen bob or pound a week; and, above all--keep yer temper. "A niste job two on us had in Oxford-street, I think it was, one day. It was over a horinge chap as had been making an obstruction in the busiest part o' the thoroughfare. We'd been at him for about a week, arstin' him civilly to drop it; for the vestry had been laying the case before the magistrate, and we had our orders. You see it was a good pitch; and this chap used to do a roaring bit o' business, and of course it warn't pleasant to give it up; but then he'd no call to be there, yer know, for he was interfering with the traffic; so in course we had to put a stop to it.