"Well," he says, "that'll do; it's only plain oak; and, if you like, you can begin priming and going on at once. There's paints and brushes, but you must find your own graining tools." At it I goes like a savage, and then I found as there was a week's work for me before I need touch the graining; for there was priming, and first and second coats; and so I went on, but thinking precious hard about the bit of graining I should have to do. "Nothing venture, nothing gain," I says; and that night I was hard at it after work--ah! and right up to four o'clock in the morning--trying to put a bit of oak grain on to a piece of smooth deal. I'd got a brush or two, and some colour, and a couple of them comb-like things we uses; and there I was, with the missus trying to keep her eyes open and pretending to sew, while I painted and streaked, and then smudged it about with a bit of rag; and I'm blest if I didn't put some grain on that piece of wood as would have made Mother Nature stare--knots, and twists, and coarse grain, and shadings as I could have laughed at if I hadn't been so anxious. You see, the nuisance of it was, it looked so easy when another man did it: touches over with his colour, streaks it down with his comb, and then with a rag gives a smudge here and there, and all so lightly, and there it is done. But I couldn't, though I tried till the missus nodded, so I was obliged to send her to bed for fear she'd set her cap afire; and then I goes to the pump and has a reg'lar good sloosh, and touches my face over with the cold water, when after a good rub I goes at it again quite fresh. I can't think now how many times I rubbed the paint off with the dirty rag, but a good many I know, and the clock had gone three when I was still at it, with every try seeming to be worse than the last; but still I kept on till I seemed to hear it strike four in a muffled sort of way, and then the next thing I heard was the wife calling me, for it was five o'clock, and I had a long way to walk to get to my work. As soon as I could get my head off the table, and pull myself together, the first thing I did was to look at my graining; and some how or other it didn't look so very much amiss; but still it warn't anything like what it ought to be, as I knowed well enough. All that day I was thinking it over, and best part of that dinner-hour I stopped in the shop trying it on again. Just as I was going to smudge a piece over, and finish my bit of bread and meat, not feeling at all satisfied, I gives a jump, for some one behind me says,-- "Very neat, indeed. Bit of old oak, I suppose. You'd better do them shutters that style of grain." Well, do you know, if I didn't look at the guv'nor--for him it was--to see whether he warn't a joking me; but, bless you, no; he was as serious as a judge: so feeling all the while like a great humbug, as I was, I says, "Werry well, sir," finished my dinner, and then got to work again.