As office boy I made such a mark That they gave me the post of a junior clerk. I served the writs with a smile so bland, And I copied all the letters in a big round hand-- I copied all the letters in a hand so free, That now I am the Ruler of the Queen’s Navee. CHORUS.--He copied, etc. In serving writs I made such a name That an articled clerk I soon became; I wore clean collars and a brand-new suit For the pass examination at the Institute. And that pass examination did so well for me, That now I am the Ruler of the Queen’s Navee! CHORUS.--And that pass examination, etc. Of legal knowledge I acquired such a grip That they took me into the partnership, And that junior partnership, I ween, Was the only ship that I ever had seen. But that kind of ship so suited me, That now I am the Ruler of the Queen’s Navee! CHORUS.--But that kind, etc. I grew so rich that I was sent By a pocket borough into Parliament. I always voted at my party’s call, And I never thought of thinking for myself at all. I thought so little, they rewarded me By making me the Ruler of the Queen’s Navee! CHORUS.--He thought so little, etc. Now, landsmen all, whoever you may be, If you want to rise to the top of the tree, If your soul isn’t fettered to an office stool, Be careful to be guided by this golden rule-- Stick close to your desks and never go to sea, And you all may be Rulers of the Queen’s Navee! CHORUS.--Stick close, etc. _Sir J._ You’ve a remarkably fine crew, Captain Corcoran. _Capt._ It _is_ a fine crew, Sir Joseph. _Sir J._ (_examining a very small midshipman_). A British sailor is a splendid fellow, Captain Corcoran. _Capt._ A splendid fellow indeed, Sir Joseph. _Sir J._ I hope you treat your crew kindly, Captain Corcoran. _Capt._ Indeed, I hope so, Sir Joseph. _Sir J._ Never forget that they are the bulwarks of England’s greatness, Captain Corcoran. _Capt._ So I have always considered them, Sir Joseph. _Sir J._ What percentage of words are spelled phonetically? No bullying, I trust--no strong language of any kind, eh? _Capt._ Oh, never, Sir Joseph. _Sir J._ What, _never_? _Capt._ Hardly ever, Sir Joseph. They are an excellent crew, and do their work thoroughly without it. _Sir J._ (_reproving_). Don’t patronize them, sir--pray, don’t patronize them. _Capt._ Certainly not, Sir Joseph.