_Gen._ The Pirates of Penzance? I have often heard of them. _Mab._ All except this gentleman--(_indicating_ FREDERICK)--who was a pirate once, but who is out of his indentures to-day, and who means to lead a blameless life evermore. _Gen._ But wait a bit. I object to pirates as sons-in-law. _King._ We object to major-generals as fathers-in-law. But we waive that point. We do not press it. We look over it. _Gen._ (_aside_). Hah! an idea! (_Aloud._) And do you mean to say that you would deliberately rob me of these the sole remaining props of my old age, and leave me to go through the remainder of life unfriended, unprotected, and alone? _King._ Well, yes, that’s the idea. _Gen._ Tell me, have you ever known what it is to be an orphan? _Pirates_ (_disgusted_). Oh, dash it all! _King._ Here we are again! _Gen._ I ask you, have you ever known what it is to be an orphan? _King._ Often! _Gen._ Yes, orphan. Have you ever known what it is to be one? _King._ I say, often. _All_ (_disgusted_). Often, often, often. (_Turning away._) _Gen._ I don’t think we quite understand one another. I ask you, have you ever known what it is to be an orphan, and you say “orphan.” As I understand you, you are merely repeating the word “orphan” to show that you understand me. _King._ I didn’t repeat the word often. _Gen._ Pardon me, you did indeed. _King._ I only repeated it once. _Gen._ True, but you repeated it. _King._ But not often. _Gen._ Stop, I think I see where we are getting confused. When you said “orphan,” did you mean “orphan”--a person who has lost his parents; or often--frequently? _King._ Ah, I beg pardon, I see what you mean--frequently. _Gen._ Ah, you said often--frequently. _King._ No, only once. _Gen._ (_irritated_). Exactly, you said often, frequently, only once. FINALE. RECITATIVE.--GENERAL. Oh, men of dark and dismal fate, Forego your cruel employ; Have pity on my lonely state, I am an orphan boy. _King._ An orphan boy? _Gen._ An orphan boy! _Pirates._ How sad--an orphan boy! SOLO.--GENERAL. These children whom you see Are all that I can call my own! _Pir._ Poor fellow! _Gen._ Take them away from me And I shall be indeed alone. _Pir._ Poor fellow! _Gen._ If pity you can feel, Leave me my sole remaining joy. See, at your feet they kneel; Your hearts you cannot steel Against the sad, sad tale of the lonely orphan boy! _Pir._ (_sobbing_). Poor fellow! See, at our feet they kneel; Our hearts we cannot steel Against the sad, sad tale of the lonely orphan boy. _King._ The orphan boy! _Sam._ The orphan boy!