Oriole's daughter, a novel, Volume 3 (of 3)Fothergill, Jessie
General
Oriole's daughter, a novel, Volume 3 (of 3)
Fothergill, Jessie
Fathers and daughters -- Fiction; Illegitimate children -- Fiction; Married women -- Fiction; Rome (Italy) -- Fiction
‘This cannot go on,’ he said at last with low-voiced anger.
‘You are worse each time I see you--more sad, more hopeless and
lifeless-looking. You will not look into my eyes now. You will not see
how I love you, or you could not look so stern and immovable. If you
would smile as you always have done before----’
Fulvia without a word raised her eyes and looked straight into his.
There was not the shadow of a smile on her face; there was not the
least sign of relaxation in what he had truly called her ‘stern’
expression.
‘No, you don’t smile! What is the meaning of it? The last time we met
you told me you had lost that despair, that carelessness whether you
lived or died. You looked quite glad, Fulvia mia. But to-day it is all
there again, and I believe you will dare to tell me that I do not love
you enough, could not make you happy.’
‘No, no, no; it is not that! I get depressed oftener than I used to
do. I feel very miserable this morning. I can’t cast it off all in a
moment. But I want to live,’ she whispered, in a passionate abandonment
of eagerness--‘I want to live. To die now, after all the death I have
lived through, with life just breaking, just holding out its hand to
me--oh, by all the gods! it surely cannot happen--such a thing cannot
happen!’
‘It shall not happen; I will not let it happen!’ said Hans, and had any
keen observer been there--one who could have listened unmoved to the
passionate utterances, and impartially weighed the meaning and value
of both--that observer must have been struck with the thinness and
impotence of the man’s utterances, as compared with those of the woman.
He it was who counselled hope and spoke of happiness, and would hear
nought of despondency, nought of doubt or difficulties. She it was who
was stern and sad, and, in the midst of her agonized debate with her
love, contemplated the possibility of bitterness and dissatisfaction
even in the fulfilment of it. The view which each took was sufficiently
typical of their respective characters. Hans would have none of
disaster, none of doubt or difficulty, because he could not or would
not have fronted them, had they come. She spoke of them, discussed
them, expected them, because she had within her the stuff with which to
battle with them. Of course, the lighter, more sanguine strain sounded
the stronger at that stage of the proceedings. It made more noise, and
was set in a more effective key. It imposed upon even her.
‘To live merely as you have been living, and are living just now, is
a simply intolerable idea,’ he said, with considerable passion in his
tones. ‘For you, it is hideous to be in that house; for me, it is like
hell, only to think of your being there.’
‘What am I to do?’ asked Fulvia faintly.
For the time being there was no more firmness nor decision left in her
aspect. Her lips trembled, her eyes sank and wavered, her voice shook.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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