‘Only this day more--then an end of it. I will wait till it is over. I will see this man, who will tell me just what they have all told me--the same wretched platitudes, meaning nothing; trying to cover up the one word, “hopeless,” trying to conceal the fact that it is death coming on. It has begun--it will be a long time before it is over, and I will not wait all that time. To-night, oh, Dio mio! to leave the house, and never to return to it--never, never! Never to see this thing again, nor to hear his voice, nor to feel the shudder which comes whenever I go near him. I will tell Hans everything when I meet him to-night. Then I shall make him take me to the inn in the village, and leave me there till to-morrow. I won’t go to Minna--oh no, impossible! I would not pollute--no, pollute is not the word: it is remaining here which is pollution. I would not deceive her--that is it. I would not tell her one thing while all the time I was meaning to do quite another. That is a sort of pollution--yes, it is the kind at which I have never yet arrived. I will stay at the inn till to-morrow morning, and then he will come for me, and we will go away together. I shall make no secret of it. He can do as he likes. He may tell them or not. It is nothing to me now. My life has been so ruined that, if I am to keep my friends who have never gone through this fire, I must live in undying misery and inward degradation. If I choose happiness and freedom, I must lose all my friends. Some lucky people can keep both. I have tried the one thing, and as long as there was nothing else I could just live in it--only just. But now ... one may be good when one does wrong sometimes. I can see that very plainly. One may be doing everything that is right and proper, and at the same time be a very bad person. ‘Wrong and right--what is wrong, and what is right? Because I was sold shamefully when I could not help myself, and could see no way out of it, does that deprive me of the power of judging, when I am older and have had much experience? Who is to settle for us, if not ourselves? Oh, how wrong I was not to go away with Beppo--to run away, when he said he would take me with him! Now people will all say I have done wrong, but I will live rightly. It is quite right. I am not afraid. I wonder why I stay here now? Oh, it is better, I think. I will go on till night--till I have said good-night to him. He will expect to see me again in the morning, and time will pass, and I shall not be there. I shall not take any notice of him at all. It is not necessary. He may wonder and inquire and speculate, and say what he pleases. He may learn all his humiliation in public, for aught I care. It does not matter ... what time is it now, I wonder? Lunch-time, nearly. Then there is the afternoon, and it will be almost evening when the doctor comes, and--he will stay all night, I suppose.