There was need for a jolt forward now, and the problem appeared
simple enough as to the thing he must do, but shattering when he saw
it done. He was deeply agitated, yet through the inexorable shot a
thread of unexpected hope and beauty. To cut this thread, which had
crept so magically into the grey fabric of existence and touched the
days of his crepuscular life with the glimmering of an unguessed
sunrise, promised to be a task so tremendous that it was not strange
he hesitated. For did any vital necessity exist to cut it? He could
not immediately convince himself, and every natural instinct and
impulse combined to cry out against such a necessity.
He had reached an attitude of mind, and that long before he met Dinah
Waycott, which now suffered no shock from the personal problem. He
had dealt in generalities and pondered and meditated on human conduct
in many aspects. The actual, present position, too, he had debated,
and even asked himself how he might expect to act under certain
circumstances. But the possibility of those circumstances ever
arising had not occurred to him, and now that they had done so, he
saw that his view and his judgment were only one side of the question
in any case. The visionary figure of a woman had turned into a real
one, and as such, her welfare and her future, not his own, instantly
became the paramount thing. What he might have deemed as sudden
salvation for himself, namely, a good and loving woman in his life,
took another colour when the woman actually appeared. The temptation
now lay in this. He knew Dinah so well, that he believed, from her
standpoint, she might look at the supreme problem as he did; and for
this very reason he delayed. Reason argued that, did Dinah see eye
to eye with him, no farther difficulty could exist, while if she did
not, there was an end of it; but some radical impulse of heredity, or
that personal factor of character, which was the man himself, fought
with reason at the very heart of his being and made the issue a far
deeper matter for Maynard now.
The horseman left Mr. Stockman and galloped forward, while Joe
regarded his retreating figure with mild amusement and turned to
Lawrence.
"Did you hear that?" he asked, and the other replied that he had not.
"I've vexed him--just the last thing ever I meant, or intended. It's
a funny world. If you mind your own business and stick to it, the
people say you're a selfish, hard-hearted creature, with no proper
feeling to humans at large. And if you seek to mind other people's
business, and serve 'em, and help the folk along, and lend a hand
where you may, then they lift their voices and call you a meddling
Paul Pry and a busybody and so on. That man's just told me to look
after my own affairs, because I went out of my way to give him a
valuable tip about his!"
"More fool him," said Maynard. "The fools are the hardest to help."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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