Then she broke off, for her mind had suddenly opened a path which
must be followed alone, if followed at all. A possibility had
occurred to Dinah--a possibility of vague and shadowy outline, but
still not quite devoid of substance. She wondered intensely about a
certain thing, and since, when she wondered, her spirit never rested
until some answer to her wonderment was forthcoming, she felt now
that this problem must be approached. Indeed it was no sooner
created than it possessed her, to the destruction of every lesser
idea. She was on the verge of uttering it to Lawrence, but
controlled herself. He might disagree, and she could brook no
disagreement, even from him, before this sudden impulse. There was
hope in it for them both. She acknowledged to herself that the hope
must be small; but it existed.
She changed the subject with suspicious abruptness, but Maynard,
following his own thoughts, which led in a different direction, did
not observe that after her hiatus and a silence following on it,
Dinah resumed about something else. He had also left the facts and
drifted to the future. The suggestion that he himself had raised: to
attempt some inquiry concerning his wife, though obvious enough to
any third person, did not impress itself upon him as important. He
mentioned it and dismissed it. He felt sufficiently certain of her
and her present state. The details of his own future presented more
attractive and pressing problems. For he was now affirmed to
go--either with Dinah, or before her, on an understanding that she
would follow. For the present they must certainly part and be
associated no more--either by rumour or in reality.
Upon these thoughts she struck, so naturally that it seemed they were
unconsciously communicating in their minds.
"We must set up a post office, Lawrence, where the letters won't need
stamps; and for the minute I'd be glad if you could give me a few
shillings for pocket-money. I've got a hatred now of Bamsey money
and the five shillings a week Mrs. Bamsey gives me, because
foster-father's past doing it himself. And I've told them that I'm
not going to take any of his money in the future. I've told them
very clear about that and I mean it."
"I'm glad you have. But they won't agree."
"So they say; but I shall be far ways off, beyond their reach or
knowledge, long before then. And Jane knows clearly I won't touch
it."
Maynard brought out a little leathern purse and gave Dinah the
contents--some thirty shillings.
She thanked him and assured him that would be enough. They parted
soon afterwards and arranged to meet once more, on a date a fortnight
hence, in late evening, at a certain gate not above a mile from Green
Hayes.
"I may have something to tell you by then," she said, "and I'll find
a post office. It'll be a year till I see you again."
He took a lingering leave of her and was moved by a last word she
spoke at parting.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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