He showed temper, and the girl made no very genuine attempt to turn
away wrath. She was in a wilful and wayward mood--a thing uncommon
with her; yet such a mood was capable of being provoked by Johnny
oftener than most people.
"I love your hair," she said, stroking it.
He shook his head and put on his cap.
"You're not playing the game and, what's a lot more, you know you're
not. It's outside your character to do
this--weak--feeble--mischievous. You know I smart a bit under it,
because--fault or not--I'm a proud man. How d'you think that's
likely to pan out in my feelings to you? Does it occur to you that
with my very keen sense of justice, Dinah, I might begin to ask
myself questions about it?"
She changed her manner and, from being idle and playful, gave him her
undivided attention. He had said something that rather pleased her
when he hinted that his own feelings might grow modified; but she
knew well enough that such a remark ought not to have pleased her and
was certainly not uttered to do so.
"There's a screw loose somewhere, Johnny," she said.
"Where then? And whose fault--yours, or mine? God's my judge I
didn't know there was a screw loose, and it's pretty ugly news, I can
tell you. Perhaps you'll let in a little more light, while you're
about it, and tell me what the screw is and why i'ts loose?"
"I wish I could. Oh Johnny, don't you feel it?"
"No, I do not. And if I don't, then it's up to you to explain, not
me."
"I don't know enough yet," she answered. "I'm not going to flounder
into it and make trouble that can never be unmade again. I'll wait
till I see a bit clearer, John. It's no use talking till we've
thought a thing out and got words for it. A row will often happen
just for lack of words to say what anybody really means. There is
something--something growing; but since you've not felt it, then it
can only be on my side. You shall know if it's anything, or nothing,
pretty soon. Feelings never stand still. They fade out, or else get
bigger. I love you very dearly, and, so far as we stand at present,
it's understood we are to be married in the Spring."
"Then why hang it up any longer? You love me and you'm tokened and
there's no reason why we shouldn't be wed and a great many reasons
why we should. But now a screw's loose, or so you say. But you
won't give it a name. Don't you see that instead of being yourself,
Dinah--famed for thinking straight and seeing clear and saying what
you mean--you're behaving like any stupid giglet wench, with no wits
and not worth her keep to anybody?"
"Yes; and that's why a screw's loose. If I can feel like I do, and
act away from my general plan, and dally with a thing--don't you see
there's something wrong with me?"
"Well, if you know it, get it right."
"I must do that for all our sakes. I must and will, John."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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