grew to hate the lover's kiss, while the brother's kiss of old had
been agreeable to her. Her kiss had not changed; but his had. She
detected all manner of trifles, vanities, complacencies, tendencies
to judge neighbours too hardly. These things did not make Dinah
miserable, because her nature was proof against misery, and the
emotion excited in her by ill fortune could never be so described.
Indeed, under no circumstances did she display the phenomena of
misery. But she was deeply perturbed and she knew, far better than
Johnny could tell her, that serious reasons existed for her present
evasion and procrastination. She also knew, as he did, that she was
taking a line foreign to her character; but he did not guess the
tremendous discovery that, for the moment, caused his sweetheart to
falter and delay action.
He was in love, heart and soul, and Dinah understood that well
enough. No hope of any revelation existed for him. He poured all
his energy and quality into his plans for her future happiness. If
he could be unselfish, it was with her; if he could be modest, it was
with her. She awoke the best of him and influenced him as no other
power on earth was able to do. He saw her pleasant face beautiful;
he heard her pleasant voice as music; he held her laugh sweeter than
a blackbird's song. She knew his adoration and it increased the
threatening difficulties. But he was changing now, and the recent
evidence of his irritation on Hazel Tor, Dinah recognised as
perfectly natural and reasonable.
Still she hesitated before the melancholy conviction that she could
not marry John, and the vision of the family when they heard it. She
was waiting now in rare indecision; but she knew that such inaction
could only be a matter of a very short time. The problem touched
many, and she was aware that her change of mind would bring hard
words to her ears from various quarters. She began to be sorry, but
not for herself. She was concerned, first for John, and then for her
foster-father. She was also in a lesser degree regretful for Mrs.
Bamsey, and even for Jane; but she judged that their tribulation
would be allayed by two things: first, in the conviction that John
was well out of it; secondly, at the knowledge that Dinah herself
would leave Green Hayes, Ben Bamsey's farm. She could not stop after
the events now foreshadowed, and she felt tolerably certain that none
would desire her to do so. Thus she hung on the verge, but had not
taken the inevitable step upon a Sunday when Lawrence Maynard visited
Lower Town according to his promise and came to tea.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account