_Dumby._ Awfully commercial, women nowadays. Our grandmothers threw their caps over the mill, of course, but, by Jove, their granddaughters only throw their caps over mills that can raise the wind for them. _Lord Augustus._ You want to make her out a wicked woman. She is not! _Cecil Graham._ Oh! wicked women bother one. Good women bore one. That is the only difference between them. * * * * * _Dumby._ In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. The last is much the worst, the last is a real tragedy. * * * * * _Cecil Graham._ What is a cynic? _Lord Darlington._ A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. _Cecil Graham._ And a sentimentalist, my dear Darlington, is a man who sees an absurd value in everything, and doesn't know the market price of any single thing. * * * * * _Dumby._ Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes. * * * * * _Lord Windermere._ What is the difference between scandal and gossip? _Cecil Graham._ Oh! gossip is charming! History is merely gossip. But scandal is gossip made tedious by morality. Now I never moralise. A man who moralises is usually a hypocrite, and a woman who moralises is invariably plain. There is nothing in the whole world so unbecoming to a woman as a Nonconformist conscience. And most women know it, I'm glad to say. And so we take our leave of "Lady Windermere's Fan." "A WOMAN OF NO IMPORTANCE" (_First produced at the Haymarket Theatre by Mr Beerbohm Tree on 19th April 1903_)